coffee fills the air outside
breakfast dishes and sunlight
furry being gonna hide
quiet mind where hurts abide
soft pillow wet with tears
blank features yet so many fears
everything distant seems far away
moonlight outshone the day
this silence is not the same one i used to hear
the air is hung with so many tears
pretty creature please dont go
where there was summer there is snow
pretty creature dont go away
where there was night there is day
please dont leave
please dont leave
please dont leave me here
white dress stained with chocolate
i dont wanna cry yet
everything reminds me of you
can lies be really true?
flowers wilting by the windowsill
daffodils grow by the water mill
its all so blindingly bright
this new sunlight
pretty creature please dont go
where there was summer there is snow
pretty creature dont go away
where there was night there is day
please dont leave
please dont leave
please dont leave me here
gone, gone with the wind
love, love’s all pretend
gone, gone so fast
nothing ever lasts
pretty creature, is love real
pretty creature, do you feel
pretty creature will you go
just like the melting snow?
Some people think that flying high is easy. Some think it feels so nice because it’s bright. But once you get to the top, you’ll get wheezy, Because in front of you’s a shadow and not the light. It keeps growing with every step I take, It keeps showing in every song I make. Nothing really helps, I’m hopeless when it comes to me, So I can’t really understand why you chose me. How can I know you when I don’t know myself? Why do want me and not someone else? I can’t even be who I would’ve wanted to be So why is it me you always want to see? Some people think climbing mountains is easy- So cold, yet so warm, and just so bright. But once you get to the top, you’ll get wheezy Because in front of you’s a shadow and not the light. It keeps growing with every step I take, It keeps showing in every song I make. Nothing really helps, I’m hopeless when it comes to me, So I can’t really understand why you chose me. How can I know you when I don’t know myself? Why do want me and not someone else? I can’t even be who I would’ve wanted to be, So why is it me you always want to see? I can’t understand I can’t control it I can barely stand And I just don’t fit How can I know you when I don’t know myself? Why do want me and not someone else? I can’t even be who I would’ve wanted to be So why is it me you always want to see? ˚ ˚ ˚ ˚ ˚ ˚ ˚ ˚ ˚ ˚ ˚ ˚ ˚ ˚ ˚ ˚ ˚ ˚ ˚
Hello everyone! I haven’t posted for two months, so it’s really nice to be back. (This is a little strange. What a happy greeting when this song’s so sad.)
This song is about sadness. You out there, anyone, you might know how that feels. Everyday, that heavy feeling grows.
But for all that I know, there is something that makes us happy. Whether it’s the music we listen to, the flowers outside our windows, or the traffic jam that never happened.
And for all I know, something that will make all of us happy, is the end of the pandemic. I’m pretty sure that it will end, and it’s something that we should all look forward to everyday. We all need something to look forward to.
Hush! A little girl of twelve is curled by the window, Pondering her day. She thinks about running away, when she’s fifteen or so, Because, for her, there’s no other way Of escaping from the clouds covering her world of darkness, Or to banish the weights of sadness That they unknowingly put on her aching head. Slowly, as she thinks, she crawls to the bed. “Dear me!” she exclaims, as a thought comes to her. “I shall go to a world of writers, where the sophisticated wear hats of real fur!” She pulls the blanket over her head, to shield herself from the cold air, Then turns to her dear teddy, quite old with wear. “Someday, Pooh, we’ll both run off to someplace, Where there are people who don’t think I’m a waste of space. Where there are unlimited pens and ink, And hundereds— maybe thousands— of places we can think.” The rain falls outside her window pane, glistening in the late afternoon light, And she falls asleep, the teddy in her warm embrace. She is still mumbling in her sleep, “Tomorrow, escape I might, To a world of pen and paper.”
The two sides of me suddenly show themselves, Along with my past and present. I have to deal with the pain, the guilt, of not being able to tell a sweet secret, One that also has a bitter side to my story. The brightly colored boxes show themselves, and I unwillingly ignore them, Knowing that on the other side someone is waiting For me to stay. Hearts on a single side, and bitterness in the honey. Gray and violet, side by side, emerge in the dark abyss of my mind. To think that I have been waiting for something that will never happen, That I had wasted an entire year of my life On something I’d never get. Vibrant violet and lonely gray, all in one person. Rain falls nearly everyday, thundering through the lonely streets in my head. Outside, I don’t know it’s sunny— all I know is violet and gray. There is a key I can’t find, a puzzle I can’t solve. A feeling I can’t seem to hide, so that it appears in everything I write. Compared to last year, my world seems so heavier, like the flame in me disappeared. Instead, there’s cold water raining down on me day by day, And the feeling, begging me to let it out of it’s prison cell. Once I was violet, the last of all the colors, yet the brightest in my life. But now I’m gray, gray as the clouds covering the sun. So many layers of feelings in this heart, so many that it makes it heavy. I can’t seem to carry all of this— I feel as though it’s dragging me to the earth. I just want to be happier, but why doesn’t my heart hear anything I say? Others see I’m happy, but I’m the opposite. So many “why’s” in this maze of thoughts, So many lies in different places. I want to be happy, please, just for once in my life. Someone help me, I’m falling slowly in the pool of cold rain. I’ve become vibrant violet and lonely gray, all in one person, And rain falls nearly everyday, thundering through the lonely streets in my head.
Trees swaying in the meadow, Birds flying in the air, The mesmerizing sound of the crow Come into the forest, it’s beautiful there. Tall grass swaying in the breeze, Minnows swimming in the pond, There’re no areas as wonderful as these, For they form with you a strong bond. The little critters crawling on the ground, The butterflies flying over flowers. Here what is lost can be found, But it will take some hours. Come and canoe in the river, See the fishes below. I came here once with my sister, And she helped me row. There might be fairies here If you know where to look. Maybe they are far or near, Or perhaps near the brook. Let’s all walk in the forest, And see what we can find. We can laugh, dance, and jest, So come now, let’s leave the city behind!
Wake up, found myself on the floor Slowly walk out the door New books’re coming, I’m sure Later, perhaps I’ll read some more. But the drama in the novel can’t distract me Instead of knights and queens, it’s you I see. I had resolved to just move on To never think of you at the break of dawn. But how come your voice is still in my head? How come it’s not the adventure story instead? There’s always a tiny hint of worry When it rains: “Hey, go home and hurry.” There is a strange feeling, a touch I miss And even stranger, your gentle kiss. “Get out!” I’d have said to the voice in my mind. “Go away, or I’ll peel you off lile a rind!” Just leave, I don’t want you anyway. But somehow, I need you, and the little voice stays. I absentmindedly turn the yellowing pages, Not minding the tales of damsels and sages, And look out of the white-paned window To see the trees, with branches swaying low. There, in the free wind, an empty swing just rocks. Where you once gave me a heart-shaped box Full of sweets and sugarcanes, Then realizing my gaze, I look away from the pane. This is what I am right now: distracted. Why do I still think of you in my head? There, once again, is the heavy feeling in my heart That I used to feel when we were apart. How is it, that I lost control? Why’s this feeling digging me up like a mole? I’ll just try to forget you, even if I can’t Your eyes, your music, your smile and your scent. So in the end, I just close my eyes, Thinking of the time that went by.
[verse] I’m lying down, restless at midnight. Can’t seem to get my eyes to close. I see the yellow lamplight, Its radiance dancing like a rose. [pre-chorus] Mmm mmm mmm, how do you get to sleep If your head’s too full of thoughts? Mmm mmm mmm, do you lie in bed and count sheep? Or all the things you lost? [chorus] I am lying awake, thinking of the world outside. I want to run away, but there’s no place to hide. I want to go out and run and shout. But I’m trapped here, and it’s my tomorrow I’m thinking about. [verse] In the dark, I see the inkblots on my fingers Reminds me of the days when I wrote till dawn. I try to get my mind off outside, but its still lingers Up till now, I want to run free, free as a fawn [pre-chorus] Mmm mmm mmm, how do you get to sleep If your head’s too full of thoughts? Mmm mmm mmm, do you lie in bed and count sheep? Or all the things you lost? [chorus] I am lying awake, thinking of the world outside. I wasnt to run away, but theres no place to hide. I want to go out and run and shout. But I’m trapped here, and it’s my tomorrow I’m thinking about. [bridge] Will we stay here forever? When will we all be together? When will be able to feel the grass under our toes? When will we see again our friends and our foes? [chorus] I am lying awake, thinking of the world outside. I want to run away, but theres no place to hide. I want to go out and run and shout. But I’m trapped here, and it’s my tomorrow I’m thinking about. [outro] I remember, I remember (Running outside, yeah) I remember, I remember (When we didnt have to hide inside) [slowly fade out....]
I feel like a lost star Zooming through space and time, Can’t seem to find What I lack in myself. I see, vividly lost stars Searching for their shine. Looking up at the sky, Gazing at the planets above The beautiful heavens, Crafted with utmost detail. I feel hopeless, colorless Nothing but bleakness. I feel lonely, A solitary person in a world full of people. I am one of those lost stars, Searching endlessly Through the darkest nights Never caring to stop. I feel like a lost star, Zooming through space and time Can’t seem to find What I lack in myself. Gazing through telescopes Big and small Watching, waiting for a light One that shines brighter that most. Looking, searching For a speck of bright gold Placed on the velvet blackness Of the dome surrounding me. I feel hopeless, colorless Nothing but bleakness I feel lonely, A solitary person in a world full of people. I am one of those lost stars Searching endlessly Through the darkest nights Never caring to stop. I feel like a lost star Zooming through space and time Can’t seem to find What I lack in myself.
I can't sleep. There's so much I want to do, So much I want to say. But I can't write them down in one go. My eyes dont want to close. I lay awake for an hour, Wondering about the universe, About what I'll do tomorrow. I think about a new song I might write, Only, the lyrics seem to be forced. I'll just turn on the lamp and get my pen. Green and gold is with which I write this. I'll write about crimson robes and knights of chivalry, Or maybe some tragic ends for some lovers in a story. Perhaps I'll think of a poem With words so sweet that even I wil cry. Or maybe a haiku, only I don't know how. How about a play, like Shakespeare? But I don't know how to do those things too. Up 'till now I still can't sleep, I can hear my sister's soft breathing And the sound of the clock ticking. Twelve midnight and I'm still awake- Why is this sleeplessness taking over me? Maybe it's just the sweet chocolate bar I had. But, my eyelids slowly begin to droop- This is it! Finally, my busy mind wants to sleep. I lie down on my pillow, and my mind suddenly goes blank. I could sleep after all.
Did I live for a purpose? What am I doing here? Petals are falling from the rose From their mouths a leer. I want to tell them I didn't mean it, That I apologized, But they just don't see it, And the monsters in me rise. I want to show them I'm nice, That I'm worthy, sweet, and honest. But it's just me they despise, So I feel like a bird out of it's nest.
“How much you’ve grown!” my family would say, “How tall you have become!”
Then I would say, “I do not think so, I have so much work to be done.”
“Have you improved in mathematics?” they’d inquire, ruffling my thick hair.
I’d cower in embarrassment and reply, “Yes, maybe no, perhaps I’m almost there.”
“How is you mother? Is she well?” is one of my aunts’ query.
Then I would pause to think and say, “Oh, she is fine, I am sure; she is always merry.”
Then they would catch up on what had happened lately in their lives,
While my parents talk about incidents at home, and laugh about growing chives.
Meanwhile, I sit in a corner and draw, not having much to do,
And then suddenly, my body shivers: I need to go to the loo.
After walking out the bathroom, I bump into a nearby wall,
Then my older cousin would say, “When that happens to the baby, she bawls.”
We would laugh, arm in arm, not minding grown-ups' business,
Then go out in the garden where my uncles are, lighting the grill with matches.
Then, hours later, we have to go home— its getting fairly dim,
And the sun sinks, deep orange in the low light, right below the sky’s rim.
Hello everyone! Lately, we haven’t seen our families, or have family reunions. The best thing we can do now is to remember fond memories of these family reunions, or call them. So, feeling down lately? Miss so much people aside from family? Call them up! It’ll make their day, as yours too. Stay safe, ya’ll!
Oh, these rainy, rainy days How wet! The feeble branches sway, The clouds block the sun. It doesn’t seem like day, Not at all. The birds are no longer singing The crickets in the shaded grass are singing; The sound of dripping water’s still ringing, Sounding like, “ping, pong, ping!” And wet are the poor birds’ wings. Oh the sun, hidden behind the trees! How I wish the rain would be as nice as these Rainbow colored showers, so free. Back then, running around were we But it is cold rain that I see. Oh, these damp, cold, rainy days— How wet! The feeble trees’ branches sway, The clouds and thick rain block the sun. It doesn’t seem like day, No, my dear, not at all.
Why did you lie to me? You could’ve told me the truth About you and her. So here I am, my cheeks stained with salty tears Just because of a simple lie. But this lie was the worst I had encountered. It was the lie of you and another. You should’ve told me, Told me about her. I wouldn’t have minded Because the truth was you wanted her And not me, Even though I loved you with all my heart I loved you with all my soul, And I wanted to spend my life with you. But the truth was you weren’t real-- Your love was fake, You were one big mistake. Go away, leave me here— I was better off without you Shut your mouth, it’s filthy, Full of lies that break hearts.
I miss you, come back home In the shape of a beautiful paper crane, Its intricate design meeting my curious eyes. Your wings are flapping, sending warm breezes Into my world of us. I wanna fold a thousand paper birds Just to grant my wish that is you. One picture is worth a thousand words And that picture is you. Come, come closer to me So I can see the flowers on your colorful wings. Oh paper crane, my paper crane, Your soft eyes meet mine; My face brightens with a shine. Stay by my side, walk with me for a while And hold me in your arms. My paper crane, I don’t need to fold a thousand Because you’re here with me, And that is all I need, It’s all I want, And what I want is only you, my paper crane.
Turn the the lights on, Its getting dark. Close the windows, We might be seen. There might be people Who are jealous of us; There might be people Who want to steal our love Who want to steal our love, yeah. But I won’t let them steal you away from me, I hope you won’t let them steal me away from you, From you. Shine, shine, shine in the bright lights, Dance, dance, dance, dance around, Sing, sing, sing, sing a song for me. Turn the the lights out, Its getting bright. Open the windows, We want to see the outside world. There might be people Who are jealous of us; There might be people Who want to steal our love Who want to steal our love, yeah. But I won’t let them steal you away from me, I hope you won’t let them steal me away from you, From you. Shine, shine, shine in the bright lights, Dance, dance, dance, dance around, Sing, sing, sing, sing a song for me. The dark, dark, room Where I keep on writing Songs about you, about you. The music pours out of the stereo We keep on dancing, keep on dancing. Turn the the lights on, Its getting dark. Close the windows, We might be seen. There might be people Who are jealous of us; There might be people Who want to steal our love Who want to steal our love, yeah.
Once upon a time, there was a lonely girl. She lived alone, afraid to love again, For once upon a time, there came a man, But broke her heart and ran. Once upon a time, I felt like her, A little rouge who wanted to leave home, A little savage who went and roamed All around other peoples zones. Once upon a time, however, Her dreams came true, and she became famous, Although her ‘friends’ called her the lamest. Then a boy came along, and on her lips he kissed. Once upon a time, I was broken-hearted But I never stopped dreaming, Or feeling what I was feeling, So continue to live on, though it’s hard Because one day, you’ll be exactly what you wanted to be.
I wanna wake up with you beside me And be where I was destined to be: With you With you. I wanna shine bright right where you are, Because your eyes are beautiful like the stars-- I wanna do all this with you Hope it comes true. Come with me, take my hand and we’ll go together, Jump off the brink of time Stay with me, don’t leave me ever; Just stay with me on the line Right on the line, Stay with me, on the line And be mine. I wanna climb the trees you climb And write those words that rhyme. I wanna do it all with you, All with you. I wanna walk on the path you walk And stay right there, listening to you talk. I wanna do all of this with you, All with you, And all for you. These times I will forever treasure All these memories with you and I— I’ll love them without measure, But I wanna wake up right where you are, Even follow you to the stars All for you All with you All of the things we do. I wanna wake up with you beside me And be where I was destined to be With you With you. I wanna shine bright right where you are, Because your eyes are beautiful like the stars- I wanna do all this with you Hope it comes true.
Screw all those stupid rules Let’s just be ourselves just for now; We don’t have any time to lose. Lets just have fun, but how? You start a conversation One full of ridiculous nonsense. It makes my eyes sparkle with laughter, Then you notice and I quickly turn away. The next day, all you do is stare at me. I wonder what this feeling’s supposed to be? Late nights with friends, scoldings together, Long converstaions over the phone. Late the next day again, Fail on the test again Eyes once more sparkle with joy At the sight of you. So much fun we had together, So much things we went through together, Those times when we were lost together But now our hearts are found. Those times when we would laugh Our throats would be sore the next day. Now I know what that feeling is It’s a sense of belonging, a sense of friendship-- Something I have never felt before, Something I really love. It’s nice to have someone to be there for you. It’s wonderful to just be with you. Without that mask of who I pretended to be, How wonderful to have friends like you. Thank you, I really appreciate it Thank you, for being my dearest friends.
The butterfly follows me, everyday Leading me across the path, fluttering their wings. Trust me, it says, we will lead the way to happiness. I float along, lost in my thoughts, like a butterfly, Waving my arms trying to keep up with its swift wings. Butterfly, butterfly, slow down and let me follow you home. So free, you spend your days in the sun, having fun. Walking along the path, I try to keep up. Wait, I say, wait for me I want to find myself too, I want to know who I am and what I am in this world. Butterfly, butterfly, beautiful butterfly, lead me home to you.
I just can’t Take anymore of this nonsense, Can’t take anymore of this face Expressionless and cruel. I just can’t Take anymore of this world. I’m slowly drowning, Turning blue. Tell me, do you care for me? Do you think of me? Do love me Like you used to? I’m going away Far from your lies, Far from you And your lying face. I’m going away From this wicked world, To find a life of my own, To find a place of my own. I can’t be With a someone who doesn’t love me. I can’t be with you, Or even think of you. I just can’t Take any more of this world, This world full of lies This world full of cruelty. Because I’m going away To a place unknown to myself, To a place that I don’t know To a place, a place of my own. I’m going away Far from your cold touch, Far from your lies And your useless words. So goodbye, Goodbye dear, Goodbye, And we’ll meet in darkness once more.
Sitting by the window Wondering what to do And then, so suddenly, I think of you All the times that I cried in front of you All the times that we spent after stressful school All our sweet conversations Gone, blown away by the wind And so, Here I am in this little box of misery Here I am, trapped in my own thoughts Here I am, wondering what to do When I suddenly, so suddenly, I think of you Time, I need time. Oh that sweet thing of mine Time, I need time. To reclaim the things that are originally mine Here I am in my little box of misery Here I am, trapped in my mind Here I am, wondering what to do When I suddenly think of you. When I suddenly think of you. All the times we spent together, All the times we enjoyed, All the times of sorrow and pain, Will they ever come again?
Seems like a year has passed Since the day that you left me. I already knew we wouldn’t last But in truth, its only day three. How can I make this more bearable Without you beside me? Walking down the hall, Why can’t my thoughts let me be? Leaving this world almost seems easy With all the pain in my heart. My breathing’s starting to get wheezy With the world that sets us apart. Won’t you come back to my arms And stay there until the end of time? Won’t you come here and make my cold heart warm So I can feel you are mine? Seems like a year has passed Since the day that you left me. I already knew we wouldn’t last But in truth, its only day three. My life has become even colder Without you pullin’ me closer Maybe it’s time to say goodbye And jump off the edge? My life has become empty Without you, don’t you see? You just left me there to cry Maybe its time to say goodbye And jump off the edge of time.
Let’s have fun together again Like we used to. Let’s dream about the world again Like we do every single day; The branches start to sway My heart begins to break. Because I found you with someone else Locked in an unforgettable embrace; You are running faster and faster away I am losing this race. Let’s sing together again Like we used to. Let’s walk, hand in hand Like we used to do. But now I’m walking alone Singing a sad song. Why did this have to happen? Let’s just start over again. Why does love have to exist? You were my only wish. Run, run around and shout Scream, dance, walk about I cry out your name Hoping you’d feel the same. Can’t we laugh together again Like we used to? Can’t we talk together again Like we used to? Now I’m sitting alone Gazing over the rhone. Let’s have fun together again Like we used to. Let’s dream about the world again Like we do every single day; The branches start to sway You already went away.
Head full of thoughts Heart empty. Mind full of dreams; Ones that can’t be fulfilled. But my feelings are still hopeful For the end of this crisis; And then my heart is slowly filling up With sense of belonging, A sense of love from you. You simply take me away From the darkness surrounding me. Before I shouted: Oh help, I'm drowning, But you pulled me out of the black pool; You wiped my tears dry. You comforted me throughout our friendship. No more of sadness, No more of loneliness. They are forever banished from my mind. Thoughts of you and your love surrounding me Will stay forever in my mind forevermore. Thank you for protecting me; Thank you for the times We spent with each other. Birthdays, meetings-- I will treasure these forever In this little mind of mine. Memories of togetherness Will never be forgotten. My candle of love For you will never be extinguished. Thank you so much, dear friend For helping me on the way To happiness and love. I hope this friendship will never end, For I love you so very much. Mountains we climbed, Hard, cold ones too. Rough currents we waded through, But we've crossed the bridge of hardship, And we've finally reached our plce, That sweet, sweet place In the world of memory, love, everlasting friendship, and trust.