Categories
poems

summer misery

sunlight comes in through an old window,
sparrows sing in the mango trees outside.
although it is a bright day, it’s dark for me-
with unexplainable feelings deep inside.

drawers are open, walls are bare.
summer breeze is hot, secrets float in.
i cry myself to sleep, who cares?
no one, really- they do not know.

drawings and drafts are torn to pieces,
thrown carelessly on the dirty floor.
last night there was love, laughter, and kisses,
but all of that i left behind.

the bed is messy, pillow wet with tears
it still smells of you, sweet and warm.
i have too many secrets, and still more fears
for today and tomorrow, and what is to come.



Categories
poems

wish

make a wish
at the lunar eclipse.
you will never know
what awaits in the future.

make a wish
at falling stars.
no matter where you are,
you are always more than what you think.

make a wish
if you can, everyday.
maybe you’ll see the people you miss
and say more things you wanted to say.
Categories
poems

deserted roads

No one is walking in the streets anymore
No smiles can be seen on faces like before.
Deprived of cars, the road looks empty,
Gone is the hustle and bustle of the city.
Categories
poems Thoughts

longingly

I look at them longingly, just after the fight ebbs away. 
I look at them again, after a long day.
I look at them longingly, with so much love in my eyes,
But then there’s the enemy, playing as friends in disguise.

I look at them lovingly, just after a long week
After so many days, I take just one peek.
I look at them lovingly, with the saddest smile on my face
Like a girl who ended up in the wrong time and place.

I look at them sadly, not being able to join in
Not being able to tell them what’s within.
I look at them sadly, with a small light of happiness in my eyes
And I look at them, staring, thinking of this world, a lie.

I look at them longingly, only being able to watch.
I look at them longingly; I miss them so much.
I look at them sadly, hearing their shouts in play.
I look at them lovingly, if only they could hear what I say.
Categories
poems Thoughts

joy gone

In a dead garden, I sit alone,
Wondering where you had gone.
My heart so lonely, cold as stone,
Falling to the ground, done.
I know that all of this will never change,
It never did.
My life is never gonna be the same,
My joys and treasures hid.

Beside a withered rose I stand
My mind wandering steadily away.
I keep thinking of your hand,
Once around mine everyday.
I feel so broken, so alone,
I can’t take any more.
Only crimson remains on the rose’s stone
Where I had been before.

My books they burn into the night
Casting dark shadows all around.
The fire burns so bright,
Scares away the feisty hound.
I had been here once before,
Thinking silence was my favorite sound.
But now, I see the sadness I have in store,
And I realized that I looked for things I had never found.

Categories
poems Thoughts

changes

Life used to be a world of wonder
A world of mystery, of love and light.
But our dreams have been knocked asunder
And the birds have fallen after their first flight.
Categories
poems Thoughts

voices

I’m scared to feel pain, yet I long for it. 
I’m scared to stand up, for fear of falling.
I’m scared to light the candle, for it won’t stay lit.
And I’m scared to answer when the voice is calling.
Categories
songs Thoughts

pretty creature

coffee fills the air outside 
breakfast dishes and sunlight
furry being gonna hide
quiet mind where hurts abide

soft pillow wet with tears
blank features yet so many fears
everything distant seems far away
moonlight outshone the day

this silence is not the same one i used to hear
the air is hung with so many tears

pretty creature please dont go
where there was summer there is snow
pretty creature dont go away
where there was night there is day

please dont leave
please dont leave
please dont leave me here

white dress stained with chocolate
i dont wanna cry yet
everything reminds me of you
can lies be really true?

flowers wilting by the windowsill
daffodils grow by the water mill
its all so blindingly bright
this new sunlight

pretty creature please dont go
where there was summer there is snow
pretty creature dont go away
where there was night there is day

please dont leave
please dont leave
please dont leave me here

gone, gone with the wind
love, love’s all pretend
gone, gone so fast
nothing ever lasts

pretty creature, is love real
pretty creature, do you feel
pretty creature will you go
just like the melting snow?

Categories
poems Thoughts

swallowed up in sadness

I wanna cry, I wanna shout, 
Run around and scream.  
I open my mouth, but no sound comes out— 
Just these feelings, frightful and mean.

Just myself that scares me, 
I don’t know what it is.  
I want others to understand and see, 
But they’re drowning in their bliss.  

There’s a bag of stones in my heart, 
Makes me wonder how it came. 
Makes me pick up the shard  
On the floor, and let it go, all the same.  

I wonder if the accident that came a day ago 
Could me be in the white car? 
Maybe in a week or so 
I will escape to darkness far.  

I get up, only to fall down again, 
Then drop wordlessly on the floor.  
I just want to see my friends 
And run outside, past the door. 

Here I am trapped in a box 
With a heavy feeling in my heart 
Eventually, I tear at the locks 
Of my hair, and wish it didn’t start.  

Why did this ever begin? 
When will it end? 
Why is my life suddenly thrown in a bin, 
And my heart distorted and bent?

˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚

When emotions take over you, it’s overwhelming.

Especially when they tell you to give up on the things you’d normally agree to and work hard for.

So many questions.

So little answers.

It’s just life.

Like our ancestors, we must move forward to where we want to be. For the people coming after us, so they can stand on our shoulders and grow.

Categories
poems songs Thoughts

Outcast

Did I live for a purpose?
What am I doing here?
Petals are falling from the rose
From their mouths a leer.
I want to tell them I didn't mean it,
That I apologized,
But they just don't see it,
And the monsters in me rise.
I want to show them I'm nice,
That I'm worthy, sweet, and honest.
But it's just me they despise,
So I feel like a bird out of it's nest.
Categories
poems songs Thoughts Uncategorized

i just can’t

I just can’t 
Take anymore of this nonsense, 
Can’t take anymore of this face 
Expressionless and cruel. 

I just can’t 
Take anymore of this world. 
I’m slowly drowning, 
Turning blue.

Tell me, do you care for me? 
Do you think of me?
Do love me 
Like you used to?

I’m going away 
Far from your lies, 
Far from you 
And your lying face. 

I’m going away 
From this wicked world, 
To find a life of my own, 
To find a place of my own. 

I can’t be
With a someone who doesn’t love me. 
I can’t be with you, 
Or even think of you. 

I just can’t 
Take any more of this world, 
This world full of lies 
This world full of cruelty. 

Because I’m going away 
To a place unknown to myself, 
To a place that I don’t know 
To a place, a place of my own. 

I’m going away 
Far from your cold touch, 
Far from your lies 
And your useless words.  

So goodbye, 
Goodbye dear, 
Goodbye, 
And we’ll meet in darkness once more. 

Categories
poems songs Thoughts Uncategorized

day three.

Seems like a year has passed 
Since the day that you left me.
I already knew we wouldn’t last
But in truth, its only day three. 

How can I make this more bearable 
Without you beside me? 
Walking down the hall, 
Why can’t my thoughts let me be?

Leaving this world almost seems easy 
With all the pain in my heart. 
My breathing’s starting to get wheezy 
With the world that sets us apart.  

Won’t you come back to my arms 
And stay there until the end of time? 
Won’t you come here and make my cold heart warm
So I can feel you are mine?

Seems like a year has passed 
Since the day that you left me.
I already knew we wouldn’t last 
But in truth, its only day three. 

My life has become even colder
Without you pullin’ me closer 
Maybe it’s time to say goodbye 
And jump off the edge? 

My life has become empty 
Without you, don’t you see? 
You just left me there to cry
Maybe its time to say goodbye
And jump off the edge of time.
Categories
poems songs Thoughts Uncategorized

a g a i n.

Let’s have fun together again 
Like we used to. 
Let’s dream about the world again 
Like we do every single day; 
The branches start to sway 
My heart begins to break. 

Because I found you with someone else 
Locked in an unforgettable embrace; 
You are running faster and faster away 
I am losing this race. 

Let’s sing together again 
Like we used to.
Let’s walk, hand in hand 
Like we used to do. 
But now I’m walking alone 
Singing a sad song. 

Why did this have to happen? 
Let’s just start over again. 
Why does love have to exist?
 You were my only wish. 

Run, run around and shout 
Scream, dance, walk about 
I cry out your name 
Hoping you’d feel the same. 

Can’t we laugh together again 
Like we used to?
Can’t we talk together again 
Like we used to?
Now I’m sitting alone 
Gazing over the rhone. 

Let’s have fun together again 
Like we used to. 
Let’s dream about the world again 
Like we do every single day; 
The branches start to sway 
You already went away.