summer misery

sunlight comes in through an old window,
sparrows sing in the mango trees outside.
although it is a bright day, it’s dark for me-
with unexplainable feelings deep inside.

drawers are open, walls are bare.
summer breeze is hot, secrets float in.
i cry myself to sleep, who cares?
no one, really- they do not know.

drawings and drafts are torn to pieces,
thrown carelessly on the dirty floor.
last night there was love, laughter, and kisses,
but all of that i left behind.

the bed is messy, pillow wet with tears
it still smells of you, sweet and warm.
i have too many secrets, and still more fears
for today and tomorrow, and what is to come.



if a cat can meow, a meow can cat.
and I don’t know what I’m wondering at.

-Stevie, my sister.


make a wish
at the lunar eclipse.
you will never know
what awaits in the future.

make a wish
at falling stars.
no matter where you are,
you are always more than what you think.

make a wish
if you can, everyday.
maybe you’ll see the people you miss
and say more things you wanted to say.

touch the light

I told myself so many times not to touch the light
For fear of losing what I had with me.
But when I approached the flame, bright,
I finally saw what I wanted to see.

All my memories faded into the white light
All those unforgettable tales and fights.
They were all gone, and all that was left was you
And I thought, “Where is this going to?”

I told myself not to tell all the things I wanted to say
Because I was scared and I didn’t want to see who I thought I was.
But, as a thought came to me, I told them anyway
And out came the real me, without any fuss.

All my emotions flowed out as words
Words untold for so many years
They flew out of me as birds,
Birds in the form of my unshed tears.

I used to tell myself I couldn’t be who i was in front of them
And that I couldn’t do it anyway.
But here I am, laughing again,
Saying all the things I wanted to say.

deserted roads

No one is walking in the streets anymore
No smiles can be seen on faces like before.
Deprived of cars, the road looks empty,
Gone is the hustle and bustle of the city.
poems Thoughts


I look at them longingly, just after the fight ebbs away. 
I look at them again, after a long day.
I look at them longingly, with so much love in my eyes,
But then there’s the enemy, playing as friends in disguise.

I look at them lovingly, just after a long week
After so many days, I take just one peek.
I look at them lovingly, with the saddest smile on my face
Like a girl who ended up in the wrong time and place.

I look at them sadly, not being able to join in
Not being able to tell them what’s within.
I look at them sadly, with a small light of happiness in my eyes
And I look at them, staring, thinking of this world, a lie.

I look at them longingly, only being able to watch.
I look at them longingly; I miss them so much.
I look at them sadly, hearing their shouts in play.
I look at them lovingly, if only they could hear what I say.
poems Thoughts


Glassy waters glisten like silver 
The air is cold and makes me shiver
The bonfire crackle at night sings me to sleep
While my sister and I cuddle in the soft sheets.

First time we’re going out for fun
First time being able to run
In the cold air, free as the wild horses
While the canoes on the lake begin their courses.

The tent shakes and seems like it’s shivering in the rain.
I think of hiking on a trail, a terrain.
It is a little strange to think that other people are at home
While the four of us— around the island we roam.

My jacket wraps around me as I struggle to get to the tent
I think of all the things and places we went.
I feel so lucky, so awed by the view
Of the glassy lake, beckoning us to begin our life anew.
poems Thoughts

joy gone

In a dead garden, I sit alone,
Wondering where you had gone.
My heart so lonely, cold as stone,
Falling to the ground, done.
I know that all of this will never change,
It never did.
My life is never gonna be the same,
My joys and treasures hid.

Beside a withered rose I stand
My mind wandering steadily away.
I keep thinking of your hand,
Once around mine everyday.
I feel so broken, so alone,
I can’t take any more.
Only crimson remains on the rose’s stone
Where I had been before.

My books they burn into the night
Casting dark shadows all around.
The fire burns so bright,
Scares away the feisty hound.
I had been here once before,
Thinking silence was my favorite sound.
But now, I see the sadness I have in store,
And I realized that I looked for things I had never found.

poems Thoughts


Life used to be a world of wonder
A world of mystery, of love and light.
But our dreams have been knocked asunder
And the birds have fallen after their first flight.
poems Thoughts


I’m scared to feel pain, yet I long for it. 
I’m scared to stand up, for fear of falling.
I’m scared to light the candle, for it won’t stay lit.
And I’m scared to answer when the voice is calling.


stand at the zenith and burn
into ashes, placed in an urn.
stand at the pole and freeze
there were never such beautiful eyes as these.
poems Thoughts

music box

I once had a music box, a music box without sound. 
Not one note it had, for its gears were rusted round.
Some told me it was worthless, and that it was a waste of time,
But I believe it’s special, more special than my rhymes.

The music box’s key was lost somewhere
Because it was moved from here to there.
It came from a land far, far away
Where the sun’s rays touched the sea all day.

The music box was a gift on a special day
When couples gathered; on the grass they lay.
It once played soft music through the summer air
But now the music faded from wear.

Rain and sun, and rain again
Was the fate of this faithful friend
And soon it was passed on to my hands
The music box with the beauty of all lands.

Alas, the rust took all of its shine
The shine worn down by cunning time.
The silent music I had always heard
While behind me sang the birds.

Though I had never heard its sweet melody
I am very sure that it was lovely.
But now, though I hear its silent singing,
It leads me to white dresses and bells ringing.

For the silent music there was no cure
To revive its music, beautiful and pure.
But now, I hold it as a gift of love,
Whose giver is now in heaven above.


Hello everyone! It’s been such a long time.

Anyway, this poem’s first lines came into my head when my sister did some poking around in my stuff, most imporantly the special jewelry chest that was given to me by my grandmother.

Special? Yes.

This jewelry case has one cabinet on the right, and four drawers on the left. It is maroon-colored, and on the bottom there is a note. This note came from my late grandfather, given to my grandmother on Valentine’s Day.

On the 21st of April, just a few days ago, it was my grandfather’s fifth anniversary.

This jewelry chest had a small music box that I discovered last year, at around November. When I took the compartment apart (being some bored idiot), I found that it didn’t work. It was all rusty, and covered in cobwebs. Then, because I was in a thoughtful mood that day, I decided to think about that day when it was given to my grandmother. As nearly all my ideas turn into a story, song, or poem, I wrote my ideas down and it turned into this.


I will publish a series of number-titled poems soon! I missed this blog so much!

poems Thoughts

for you.

You’re a puzzle I need to solve, 
You’re a lock and I am the key.  
You are the sun and I revolve 
Around you, can’t you see? 

You’re achievement I need to unlock, 
You’re the brightest star in the night. 
You’re the waves that make my ship rock, 
You are wind that moves out of sight.  

And you have become one part of me 
Part of my life, part of my soul 
And you help me through times when troubles unfold.  

You are the wonderful rose that blooms, 
You’re the clouds that float over me. 
You are the the cornerstone of the room, 
You are the blue that lingers in sea. 

You are the moon that glows in the night, 
You are the sun that shines through the rain.  
You are the lamp that keeps away fright, 
You are the person who drives me insane.  

You have been with me all of my life, 
You have seen me laugh and cry.  
You have embraced me, though I was selfish  
You have stayed with me through strife.  

You are my world 
You are something wonderful  
You are italic and bold 
You are the wind that keeps me cool.  

So thank you, for all you have done.  
Thank you for joining me in battles where we have won.  
And you have become one part of me 
Part of my life, part of my soul 
And you help me through times when troubles unfold. 

My parents and my sister have been with me all my life, and stuck with me through everything. This is also something for anyone out there who needs cheering up, and most importantly, to my mom, dad, and my sister. This poem is barely one-millionth of all the words to describe all those loving family members you have out there. Whoever you are, wherever you are, go give your family an “I love you,” and a “Thank you!”

poems Thoughts

The Sinking Sun

The sun sets and sinks below the sea’s rim, 
Hissing and boiling, perhaps it cools within 
The ocean’s waters, embracing the sun as a friend, 
And at last, for us, the day finally ends.  

The sun will sink, and rise again in the morning, 
When we are all awake and done snoring.  
The birds will be singing in the morning sky 
And slowly, without us noticing, time passes by.  

Breakfast, lunch, and dinner passes with glee.  
Mother calls, “It’s time to sleep!” 
The sun has sunk into the sea once more, 
And in the moonlight, the birds’ throats are sore 
From singing all day, from dusk till dawn 
But now we must sleep, like a deer to it’s fawn.  

In the morning, we get up again, 
We hurry next door to see our friends.  
We talk of school and days long since gone 
And we write much, paper rises to a ton.  

Jokes we tell under the late afternoon sky, 
One, two times, we hear a baby cry.  
“Let’s go to the shore, to see the sunset! 
And I’ll reach the our wonderful sea first, I bet!”
poems Thoughts

dark night

Sweet little things that I think of 
Specially at night 
Makes me dream and takes my mind off 
The sadness and fright 
Of the dark. 
Night envelopes the lamp’s light 
Making it a beautiful sight. 
But as I lay here, my friend, 
I think of you.  

Morning comes, I yawn and see the birds outside, 
Living, flying so free.  
Sometimes, though, I want to hide, 
Because I am all alone, with nothing to see.  
The day passes quickly, with me, thinking of you, my friend Then the morning and afternoon cames to end, 
And I lay awake once more in bed.  
I see the dark night  
Enveloping the lamp’s light 
Making it a beautiful sight.
But as I lay here, my friend, I think of you.  
Staying here inside makes it so hard to think of 
The grass under my feet, 
Makes life hard without you to talk to all day,
Back then, when I had more to say.  
The daylight and the moonlight  
Guides me through my life, 
At least, my life stuck here.  
Dark night, 
Lamp light, 
The fright is gone 
I think of you.
poems songs Thoughts

Cradle of Sadness

Hush! A little girl of twelve is curled by the window, Pondering her day. 
She thinks about running away, when she’s fifteen or so, Because, for her, there’s no other way 
Of escaping from the clouds covering her world of darkness, Or to banish the weights of sadness 
That they unknowingly put on her aching head. 
Slowly, as she thinks, she crawls to the bed. 
“Dear me!” she exclaims, as a thought comes to her. “I shall go to a world of writers, where the sophisticated wear hats of real fur!”
She pulls the blanket over her head, to shield herself from the cold air, 
Then turns to her dear teddy, quite old with wear. 
“Someday, Pooh, we’ll both run off to someplace, 
Where there are people who don’t think I’m a waste of space. Where there are unlimited pens and ink, 
And hundereds— maybe thousands— of places we can think.” 
The rain falls outside her window pane, glistening in the late afternoon light, 
And she falls asleep, the teddy in her warm embrace. 
She is still mumbling in her sleep, 
“Tomorrow, escape I might, 
To a world of pen and paper.”
poems songs Thoughts

Gray and Violet

The two sides of me suddenly show themselves, 
Along with my past and present.  
I have to deal with the pain, the guilt, of not being able to tell a sweet secret, 
One that also has a bitter side to my story.  
The brightly colored boxes show themselves, and I unwillingly ignore them, 
Knowing that on the other side someone is waiting 
For me to stay.  
Hearts on a single side, and bitterness in the honey.   
Gray and violet, side by side, emerge in the dark abyss of my mind.  
To think that I have been waiting for something that will never happen, 
That I had wasted an entire year of my life 
On something I’d never get.  
Vibrant violet and lonely gray, all in one person.  
Rain falls nearly everyday, thundering through the lonely streets in my head.  
Outside, I don’t know it’s sunny— all I know is violet and gray.  
There is a key I can’t find, a puzzle I can’t solve.  
A feeling I can’t seem to hide, so that it appears in everything I write.  
Compared to last year, my world seems so heavier, like the flame in me disappeared.  
Instead, there’s cold water raining down on me day by day, And the feeling, begging me to let it out of it’s prison cell.  
Once I was violet, the last of all the colors, yet the brightest in my life.  
But now I’m gray, gray as the clouds covering the sun.   
So many layers of feelings in this heart, so many that it makes it heavy.  
I can’t seem to carry all of this— I feel as though it’s dragging me to the earth.  
I just want to be happier, but why doesn’t my heart hear anything I say? 
Others see I’m happy, but I’m the opposite.   
So many “why’s” in this maze of thoughts, 
So many lies in different places.  
I want to be happy, please, just for once in my life.   Someone help me, I’m falling slowly in the pool of cold rain.  I’ve become vibrant violet and lonely gray, all in one person, 
And rain falls nearly everyday, thundering through the lonely streets in my head.

poems songs Thoughts

The Forest

Trees swaying in the meadow, 
Birds flying in the air, 
The mesmerizing sound of the crow 
Come into the forest, it’s beautiful there. 

Tall grass swaying in the breeze, 
Minnows swimming in the pond, 
There’re no areas as wonderful as these, 
For they form with you a strong bond. 

The little critters crawling on the ground, 
The butterflies flying over flowers.
Here what is lost can be found, 
But it will take some hours. 

Come and canoe in the river, 
See the fishes below.
I came here once with my sister, 
And she helped me row. 

There might be fairies here 
If you know where to look. 
Maybe they are far or near, 
Or perhaps near the brook. 

Let’s all walk in the forest, 
And see what we can find.
We can laugh, dance, and jest, 
So come now, let’s leave the city behind! 

poems Thoughts


Wake up, found myself on the floor 
Slowly walk out the door 
New books’re coming, I’m sure 
Later, perhaps I’ll read some more.  
But the drama in the novel can’t distract me 
Instead of knights and queens, it’s you I see.  
I had resolved to just move on 
To never think of you at the break of dawn.  
But how come your voice is still in my head? 
How come it’s not the adventure story instead? 
There’s always a tiny hint of worry  
When it rains: “Hey, go home and hurry.” 
There is a strange feeling, a touch I miss 
And even stranger, your gentle kiss.  
“Get out!” I’d have said to the voice in my mind.  
“Go away, or I’ll peel you off lile a rind!” 
Just leave, I don’t want you anyway. 
But somehow, I need you, and the little voice stays. 
I absentmindedly turn the yellowing pages, 
Not minding the tales of damsels and sages, 
And look out of the white-paned window 
To see the trees, with branches swaying low.  
There, in the free wind, an empty swing just rocks.  
Where you once gave me a heart-shaped box 
Full of sweets and sugarcanes, 
Then realizing my gaze, I look away from the pane. 
This is what I am right now: distracted.  
Why do I still think of you in my head? 
There, once again, is the heavy feeling in my heart 
That I used to feel when we were apart.  
How is it, that I lost control? 
Why’s this feeling digging me up like a mole? 
I’ll just try to forget you, even if I can’t  
Your eyes, your music, your smile and your scent.  
So in the end, I just close my eyes, 
Thinking of the time that went by. 
poems songs Thoughts

On My Pillow

I’m lying down, restless at midnight.  
Can’t seem to get my eyes to close.  
I see the yellow lamplight, 
Its radiance dancing like a rose.  

Mmm mmm mmm, how do you get to sleep 
If your head’s too full of thoughts? 
Mmm mmm mmm, do you lie in bed and count sheep? 
Or all the things you lost? 

I am lying awake, thinking of the world outside.  
I want to run away, but there’s no place to hide.  
I want to go out and run and shout.  
But I’m trapped here, and it’s my tomorrow I’m thinking about.  

In the dark, I see the inkblots on my fingers 
Reminds me of the days when I wrote till dawn.  
I try to get my mind off outside, but its still lingers 
Up till now, I want to run free, free as a fawn 

Mmm mmm mmm, how do you get to sleep 
If your head’s too full of thoughts? 
Mmm mmm mmm, do you lie in bed and count sheep? 
Or all the things you lost? 

I am lying awake, thinking of the world outside.  
I wasnt to run away, but theres no place to hide.  
I want to go out and run and shout.  
But I’m trapped here, and it’s my tomorrow I’m thinking about.  

Will we stay here forever? 
When will we all be together? 
When will be able to feel the grass under our toes? 
When will we see again our friends and our foes? 

I am lying awake, thinking of the world outside.  
I want to run away, but theres no place to hide.  
I want to go out and run and shout.  
But I’m trapped here, and it’s my tomorrow I’m thinking about.  

I remember, I remember  (Running outside, yeah) 
I remember, I remember (When we didnt have to hide inside) 
[slowly fade out....]


Lost Stars

I feel like a lost star 
Zooming through space and time, 
Can’t seem to find  
What I lack in myself.  
I see, vividly lost stars 
Searching for their shine. 
Looking up at the sky,  
Gazing at the planets above 
The beautiful heavens, 
Crafted with utmost detail.  
I feel hopeless, colorless  
Nothing but bleakness.  
I feel lonely, 
A solitary person in a world full of people.  
I am one of those lost stars, 
Searching endlessly  
Through the darkest nights 
Never caring to stop.  
I feel like a lost star, 
Zooming through space and time 
Can’t seem to find  
What I lack in myself.  
Gazing through telescopes 
Big and small 
Watching, waiting for a light 
One that shines brighter that most.  
Looking, searching 
For a speck of bright gold 
Placed on the velvet blackness 
Of the dome surrounding me.  
I feel hopeless, colorless  
Nothing but bleakness  I feel lonely, 
A solitary person in a world full of people.  
I am one of those lost stars 
Searching endlessly  
Through the darkest nights 
Never caring to stop.  
I feel like a lost star 
Zooming through space and time 
Can’t seem to find  
What I lack in myself.  

poems songs Thoughts

when i can’t sleep

I can't sleep.
There's so much I want to do,
So much I want to say.
But I can't write them down in one go.
My eyes dont want to close.
I lay awake for an hour,
Wondering about the universe,
About what I'll do tomorrow.
I think about a new song I might write,
Only, the lyrics seem to be forced.
I'll just turn on the lamp and get my pen.
Green and gold is with which I write this.
I'll write about crimson robes and knights of chivalry,
Or maybe some tragic ends for some lovers in a story.
Perhaps I'll think of a poem
With words so sweet that even I wil cry.
Or maybe a haiku, only I don't know how.
How about a play, like Shakespeare?
But I don't know how to do those things too.
Up 'till now I still can't sleep,
I can hear my sister's soft breathing
And the sound of the clock ticking.
Twelve midnight and I'm still awake-
Why is this sleeplessness taking over me?
Maybe it's just the sweet chocolate bar I had.
But, my eyelids slowly begin to droop-
This is it! Finally, my busy mind wants to sleep.
I lie down on my pillow, and my mind suddenly goes blank.
I could sleep after all.
poems songs Thoughts


Did I live for a purpose?
What am I doing here?
Petals are falling from the rose
From their mouths a leer.
I want to tell them I didn't mean it,
That I apologized,
But they just don't see it,
And the monsters in me rise.
I want to show them I'm nice,
That I'm worthy, sweet, and honest.
But it's just me they despise,
So I feel like a bird out of it's nest.
poems songs Thoughts Uncategorized

Family Reunion

“How much you’ve grown!” my family would say, “How tall you have become!”
Then I would say, “I do not think so, I have so much work to be done.”
“Have you improved in mathematics?” they’d inquire, ruffling my thick hair.
I’d cower in embarrassment and reply, “Yes, maybe no, perhaps I’m almost there.”
“How is you mother? Is she well?” is one of my aunts’ query.
Then I would pause to think and say, “Oh, she is fine, I am sure; she is always merry.”
Then they would catch up on what had happened lately in their lives,
While my parents talk about incidents at home, and laugh about growing chives.
Meanwhile, I sit in a corner and draw, not having much to do,
And then suddenly, my body shivers: I need to go to the loo.
After walking out the bathroom, I bump into a nearby wall,
Then my older cousin would say, “When that happens to the baby, she bawls.”
We would laugh, arm in arm, not minding grown-ups' business,
Then go out in the garden where my uncles are, lighting the grill with matches.
Then, hours later, we have to go home— its getting fairly dim,
And the sun sinks, deep orange in the low light, right below the sky’s rim.


Hello everyone! Lately, we haven’t seen our families, or have family reunions. The best thing we can do now is to remember fond memories of these family reunions, or call them. So, feeling down lately? Miss so much people aside from family? Call them up! It’ll make their day, as yours too. Stay safe, ya’ll!