Categories
songs Thoughts

pretty creature

coffee fills the air outside 
breakfast dishes and sunlight
furry being gonna hide
quiet mind where hurts abide

soft pillow wet with tears
blank features yet so many fears
everything distant seems far away
moonlight outshone the day

this silence is not the same one i used to hear
the air is hung with so many tears

pretty creature please dont go
where there was summer there is snow
pretty creature dont go away
where there was night there is day

please dont leave
please dont leave
please dont leave me here

white dress stained with chocolate
i dont wanna cry yet
everything reminds me of you
can lies be really true?

flowers wilting by the windowsill
daffodils grow by the water mill
its all so blindingly bright
this new sunlight

pretty creature please dont go
where there was summer there is snow
pretty creature dont go away
where there was night there is day

please dont leave
please dont leave
please dont leave me here

gone, gone with the wind
love, love’s all pretend
gone, gone so fast
nothing ever lasts

pretty creature, is love real
pretty creature, do you feel
pretty creature will you go
just like the melting snow?

Categories
songs Thoughts

shadow

Some people think that flying high is easy. 
Some think it feels so nice because it’s bright. 
But once you get to the top, you’ll get wheezy,
Because in front of you’s a shadow and not the light.  

It keeps growing with every step I take,
It keeps showing in every song I make.
Nothing really helps, I’m hopeless when it comes to me,
So I can’t really understand why you chose me.

How can I know you when I don’t know myself? 
Why do want me and not someone else? 
I can’t even be who I would’ve wanted to be 
So why is it me you always want to see? 

Some people think climbing mountains is easy-  
So cold, yet so warm, and just so bright.  
But once you get to the top, you’ll get wheezy 
Because in front of you’s a shadow and not the light.    

It keeps growing with every step I take,
It keeps showing in every song I make.
Nothing really helps, I’m hopeless when it comes to me,
So I can’t really understand why you chose me.

How can I know you when I don’t know myself? 
Why do want me and not someone else? 
I can’t even be who I would’ve wanted to be, 
So why is it me you always want to see? 

I can’t understand  
I can’t control it 
I can barely stand 
And I just don’t fit 

How can I know you when I don’t know myself? 
Why do want me and not someone else? 
I can’t even be who I would’ve wanted to be 
So why is it me you always want to see?
˚ ˚ ˚ ˚ ˚ ˚ ˚ ˚ ˚ ˚ ˚ ˚ ˚ ˚ ˚ ˚ ˚ ˚ ˚ 

Hello everyone! I haven’t posted for two months, so it’s really nice to be back. (This is a little strange. What a happy greeting when this song’s so sad.)

Anyway…..

This song is about sadness. You out there, anyone, you might know how that feels. Everyday, that heavy feeling grows.

But for all that I know, there is something that makes us happy. Whether it’s the music we listen to, the flowers outside our windows, or the traffic jam that never happened.

And for all I know, something that will make all of us happy, is the end of the pandemic. I’m pretty sure that it will end, and it’s something that we should all look forward to everyday. We all need something to look forward to.

What’s yours?

Categories
poems songs Thoughts

Cradle of Sadness

Hush! A little girl of twelve is curled by the window, Pondering her day. 
She thinks about running away, when she’s fifteen or so, Because, for her, there’s no other way 
Of escaping from the clouds covering her world of darkness, Or to banish the weights of sadness 
That they unknowingly put on her aching head. 
Slowly, as she thinks, she crawls to the bed. 
“Dear me!” she exclaims, as a thought comes to her. “I shall go to a world of writers, where the sophisticated wear hats of real fur!”
She pulls the blanket over her head, to shield herself from the cold air, 
Then turns to her dear teddy, quite old with wear. 
“Someday, Pooh, we’ll both run off to someplace, 
Where there are people who don’t think I’m a waste of space. Where there are unlimited pens and ink, 
And hundereds— maybe thousands— of places we can think.” 
The rain falls outside her window pane, glistening in the late afternoon light, 
And she falls asleep, the teddy in her warm embrace. 
She is still mumbling in her sleep, 
“Tomorrow, escape I might, 
To a world of pen and paper.”
Categories
poems songs Thoughts

Gray and Violet

The two sides of me suddenly show themselves, 
Along with my past and present.  
I have to deal with the pain, the guilt, of not being able to tell a sweet secret, 
One that also has a bitter side to my story.  
The brightly colored boxes show themselves, and I unwillingly ignore them, 
Knowing that on the other side someone is waiting 
For me to stay.  
Hearts on a single side, and bitterness in the honey.   
Gray and violet, side by side, emerge in the dark abyss of my mind.  
To think that I have been waiting for something that will never happen, 
That I had wasted an entire year of my life 
On something I’d never get.  
Vibrant violet and lonely gray, all in one person.  
Rain falls nearly everyday, thundering through the lonely streets in my head.  
Outside, I don’t know it’s sunny— all I know is violet and gray.  
There is a key I can’t find, a puzzle I can’t solve.  
A feeling I can’t seem to hide, so that it appears in everything I write.  
Compared to last year, my world seems so heavier, like the flame in me disappeared.  
Instead, there’s cold water raining down on me day by day, And the feeling, begging me to let it out of it’s prison cell.  
Once I was violet, the last of all the colors, yet the brightest in my life.  
But now I’m gray, gray as the clouds covering the sun.   
So many layers of feelings in this heart, so many that it makes it heavy.  
I can’t seem to carry all of this— I feel as though it’s dragging me to the earth.  
I just want to be happier, but why doesn’t my heart hear anything I say? 
Others see I’m happy, but I’m the opposite.   
So many “why’s” in this maze of thoughts, 
So many lies in different places.  
I want to be happy, please, just for once in my life.   Someone help me, I’m falling slowly in the pool of cold rain.  I’ve become vibrant violet and lonely gray, all in one person, 
And rain falls nearly everyday, thundering through the lonely streets in my head.








Categories
poems songs Thoughts

The Forest

Trees swaying in the meadow, 
Birds flying in the air, 
The mesmerizing sound of the crow 
Come into the forest, it’s beautiful there. 

Tall grass swaying in the breeze, 
Minnows swimming in the pond, 
There’re no areas as wonderful as these, 
For they form with you a strong bond. 

The little critters crawling on the ground, 
The butterflies flying over flowers.
Here what is lost can be found, 
But it will take some hours. 

Come and canoe in the river, 
See the fishes below.
I came here once with my sister, 
And she helped me row. 

There might be fairies here 
If you know where to look. 
Maybe they are far or near, 
Or perhaps near the brook. 

Let’s all walk in the forest, 
And see what we can find.
We can laugh, dance, and jest, 
So come now, let’s leave the city behind! 

Categories
poems Thoughts

distracted

Wake up, found myself on the floor 
Slowly walk out the door 
New books’re coming, I’m sure 
Later, perhaps I’ll read some more.  
But the drama in the novel can’t distract me 
Instead of knights and queens, it’s you I see.  
I had resolved to just move on 
To never think of you at the break of dawn.  
But how come your voice is still in my head? 
How come it’s not the adventure story instead? 
There’s always a tiny hint of worry  
When it rains: “Hey, go home and hurry.” 
There is a strange feeling, a touch I miss 
And even stranger, your gentle kiss.  
“Get out!” I’d have said to the voice in my mind.  
“Go away, or I’ll peel you off lile a rind!” 
Just leave, I don’t want you anyway. 
But somehow, I need you, and the little voice stays. 
I absentmindedly turn the yellowing pages, 
Not minding the tales of damsels and sages, 
And look out of the white-paned window 
To see the trees, with branches swaying low.  
There, in the free wind, an empty swing just rocks.  
Where you once gave me a heart-shaped box 
Full of sweets and sugarcanes, 
Then realizing my gaze, I look away from the pane. 
This is what I am right now: distracted.  
Why do I still think of you in my head? 
There, once again, is the heavy feeling in my heart 
That I used to feel when we were apart.  
How is it, that I lost control? 
Why’s this feeling digging me up like a mole? 
I’ll just try to forget you, even if I can’t  
Your eyes, your music, your smile and your scent.  
So in the end, I just close my eyes, 
Thinking of the time that went by. 
Categories
poems songs Thoughts

On My Pillow

[verse] 
I’m lying down, restless at midnight.  
Can’t seem to get my eyes to close.  
I see the yellow lamplight, 
Its radiance dancing like a rose.  

[pre-chorus]  
Mmm mmm mmm, how do you get to sleep 
If your head’s too full of thoughts? 
Mmm mmm mmm, do you lie in bed and count sheep? 
Or all the things you lost? 

[chorus] 
I am lying awake, thinking of the world outside.  
I want to run away, but there’s no place to hide.  
I want to go out and run and shout.  
But I’m trapped here, and it’s my tomorrow I’m thinking about.  

[verse] 
In the dark, I see the inkblots on my fingers 
Reminds me of the days when I wrote till dawn.  
I try to get my mind off outside, but its still lingers 
Up till now, I want to run free, free as a fawn 

[pre-chorus] 
Mmm mmm mmm, how do you get to sleep 
If your head’s too full of thoughts? 
Mmm mmm mmm, do you lie in bed and count sheep? 
Or all the things you lost? 
 

[chorus] 
I am lying awake, thinking of the world outside.  
I wasnt to run away, but theres no place to hide.  
I want to go out and run and shout.  
But I’m trapped here, and it’s my tomorrow I’m thinking about.  

[bridge] 
Will we stay here forever? 
When will we all be together? 
When will be able to feel the grass under our toes? 
When will we see again our friends and our foes? 

[chorus] 
I am lying awake, thinking of the world outside.  
I want to run away, but theres no place to hide.  
I want to go out and run and shout.  
But I’m trapped here, and it’s my tomorrow I’m thinking about.  

[outro] 
I remember, I remember  (Running outside, yeah) 
I remember, I remember (When we didnt have to hide inside) 
[slowly fade out....]

Categories
Uncategorized

Lost Stars

I feel like a lost star 
Zooming through space and time, 
Can’t seem to find  
What I lack in myself.  
I see, vividly lost stars 
Searching for their shine. 
Looking up at the sky,  
Gazing at the planets above 
The beautiful heavens, 
Crafted with utmost detail.  
I feel hopeless, colorless  
Nothing but bleakness.  
I feel lonely, 
A solitary person in a world full of people.  
I am one of those lost stars, 
Searching endlessly  
Through the darkest nights 
Never caring to stop.  
I feel like a lost star, 
Zooming through space and time 
Can’t seem to find  
What I lack in myself.  
Gazing through telescopes 
Big and small 
Watching, waiting for a light 
One that shines brighter that most.  
Looking, searching 
For a speck of bright gold 
Placed on the velvet blackness 
Of the dome surrounding me.  
I feel hopeless, colorless  
Nothing but bleakness  I feel lonely, 
A solitary person in a world full of people.  
I am one of those lost stars 
Searching endlessly  
Through the darkest nights 
Never caring to stop.  
I feel like a lost star 
Zooming through space and time 
Can’t seem to find  
What I lack in myself.  

Categories
poems songs Thoughts

Outcast

Did I live for a purpose?
What am I doing here?
Petals are falling from the rose
From their mouths a leer.
I want to tell them I didn't mean it,
That I apologized,
But they just don't see it,
And the monsters in me rise.
I want to show them I'm nice,
That I'm worthy, sweet, and honest.
But it's just me they despise,
So I feel like a bird out of it's nest.
Categories
poems songs Thoughts Uncategorized

Family Reunion

“How much you’ve grown!” my family would say, “How tall you have become!”
Then I would say, “I do not think so, I have so much work to be done.”
“Have you improved in mathematics?” they’d inquire, ruffling my thick hair.
I’d cower in embarrassment and reply, “Yes, maybe no, perhaps I’m almost there.”
“How is you mother? Is she well?” is one of my aunts’ query.
Then I would pause to think and say, “Oh, she is fine, I am sure; she is always merry.”
Then they would catch up on what had happened lately in their lives,
While my parents talk about incidents at home, and laugh about growing chives.
Meanwhile, I sit in a corner and draw, not having much to do,
And then suddenly, my body shivers: I need to go to the loo.
After walking out the bathroom, I bump into a nearby wall,
Then my older cousin would say, “When that happens to the baby, she bawls.”
We would laugh, arm in arm, not minding grown-ups' business,
Then go out in the garden where my uncles are, lighting the grill with matches.
Then, hours later, we have to go home— its getting fairly dim,
And the sun sinks, deep orange in the low light, right below the sky’s rim.

**********

Hello everyone! Lately, we haven’t seen our families, or have family reunions. The best thing we can do now is to remember fond memories of these family reunions, or call them. So, feeling down lately? Miss so much people aside from family? Call them up! It’ll make their day, as yours too. Stay safe, ya’ll!

Categories
poems songs Thoughts Uncategorized

the miserable truth.

Why did you lie to me? 
You could’ve told me the truth 
About you and her. 
So here I am, my cheeks stained with salty tears 
Just because of a simple lie. 
But this lie was the worst I had encountered.  
It was the lie of you and another. 
You should’ve told me, 
Told me about her. 
I wouldn’t have minded 
Because the truth was you wanted her 
And not me, 
Even though I loved you with all my heart
I loved you with all my soul,
And I wanted to spend my life with you. 
But the truth was you weren’t real--
Your love was fake,
You were one big mistake. 
Go away, leave me here— 
I was better off without you 
Shut your mouth, it’s filthy,
Full of lies that break hearts.