I look at them longingly, just after the fight ebbs away.
I look at them again, after a long day.
I look at them longingly, with so much love in my eyes,
But then there’s the enemy, playing as friends in disguise.
I look at them lovingly, just after a long week
After so many days, I take just one peek.
I look at them lovingly, with the saddest smile on my face
Like a girl who ended up in the wrong time and place.
I look at them sadly, not being able to join in
Not being able to tell them what’s within.
I look at them sadly, with a small light of happiness in my eyes
And I look at them, staring, thinking of this world, a lie.
I look at them longingly, only being able to watch.
I look at them longingly; I miss them so much.
I look at them sadly, hearing their shouts in play.
I look at them lovingly, if only they could hear what I say.
Dear my friend, how are you now? Remember those days we got into trouble together, got scolded together? My old friend, where are you now? Remember those days we used to play Hide and seek under the moonlit sky? My old friend, I’m fine here, I’ve got so much to tell you, All about my life and wanderings, All my written works and songs. I miss you, my dear friend, I hope you’re fine. I hope you aren’t alone and sad. My old friend, something happened today: A fight, then I came home wounded and hurt. My old friend, I hope the same doesn’t happen to you. Do you remember the arguments, the hurts and pains we had together? My old friend, I miss you so much. My old friend, snow’s falling on my world. Why does it have to be so sad? Why did you have to go there, where I couldn’t find you? My old friend, the cold rain is soaking me, dripping through my lonely form on the road. I miss you my dear friend, I wish you were here with me, telling me about your day. My old friend, I hope you aren’t six feet under the ground, where it is all loneliness and desolation. I hope you’re happy with your life there, enjoying yourself and possibly other acquaintances. My dear friend, goodbye, I have to go now. My dear friend, goodnight.
One afternoon in September last year, I sat by the window and two songs came into my head: Dear my friend by Agust D, and My Old Friend by Unique Salonga.
This pandemic makes one miss so many friends and family, no?
I remembered how life used to be before COVID-19, carefree and happy. Then, a few days after writing this up, I saw a window in the distance, with no lights for several days now. Then came that feeling: is the person living there okay? There was also that thought that one is always continuously terrified of: “What if my friends or family- Are they okay-?
Then I video-called the two group chats I was in. Thank God everything and everyone was alright!
I wanna cry, I wanna shout, Run around and scream. I open my mouth, but no sound comes out— Just these feelings, frightful and mean. Just myself that scares me, I don’t know what it is. I want others to understand and see, But they’re drowning in their bliss. There’s a bag of stones in my heart, Makes me wonder how it came. Makes me pick up the shard On the floor, and let it go, all the same. I wonder if the accident that came a day ago Could me be in the white car? Maybe in a week or so I will escape to darkness far. I get up, only to fall down again, Then drop wordlessly on the floor. I just want to see my friends And run outside, past the door. Here I am trapped in a box With a heavy feeling in my heart Eventually, I tear at the locks Of my hair, and wish it didn’t start. Why did this ever begin? When will it end? Why is my life suddenly thrown in a bin, And my heart distorted and bent?
When emotions take over you, it’s overwhelming.
Especially when they tell you to give up on the things you’d normally agree to and work hard for.
So many questions.
So little answers.
It’s just life.
Like our ancestors, we must move forward to where we want to be. For the people coming after us, so they can stand on our shoulders and grow.
So many things have happened, So many people I met, So many places we’ve been to, So many songs I played. Now I have been gone too long. I wanna sing this song Just for you, just for you. I still remember those summer evenings, I still remember the feel of your hand in mine; And what I remember the most, Is the wonderful full moon over our heads, And you telling me that I was far more beautiful than them. So many things I’ve broken, So many bad experiences And still so many sad songs I listened to, Even more miserable times. Now I have been gone too long I wanna sing this song Just for you, just for you. But the stars at night shine brighter when you are with me, The moon seems bigger, brighter, more beautiful, All because of you. I still remember those summer evenings, I still remember the feel of your hand in mine; And what I remember the most, Is the wonderful full moon over our heads, And you. ˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚
Some of my friends are wondering what all these poems mean. Well, from now on, I will write each poem or song’s meaning below.
I wrote this poem two months ago, and I remembered my friends next door, and how we used to talk a lot under the night sky.
If you notice, I take much inspiration from the night sky. I was named after the moon, and it turns out that I have a special attraction to the night sky. I find the moon and stars beautiful, along with the clouds and the blue sky.
For everyone there who misses their friends or loved ones, it’s not going to be forever that you are separated from them.
“How much you’ve grown!” my family would say, “How tall you have become!”
Then I would say, “I do not think so, I have so much work to be done.”
“Have you improved in mathematics?” they’d inquire, ruffling my thick hair.
I’d cower in embarrassment and reply, “Yes, maybe no, perhaps I’m almost there.”
“How is you mother? Is she well?” is one of my aunts’ query.
Then I would pause to think and say, “Oh, she is fine, I am sure; she is always merry.”
Then they would catch up on what had happened lately in their lives,
While my parents talk about incidents at home, and laugh about growing chives.
Meanwhile, I sit in a corner and draw, not having much to do,
And then suddenly, my body shivers: I need to go to the loo.
After walking out the bathroom, I bump into a nearby wall,
Then my older cousin would say, “When that happens to the baby, she bawls.”
We would laugh, arm in arm, not minding grown-ups' business,
Then go out in the garden where my uncles are, lighting the grill with matches.
Then, hours later, we have to go home— its getting fairly dim,
And the sun sinks, deep orange in the low light, right below the sky’s rim.
Hello everyone! Lately, we haven’t seen our families, or have family reunions. The best thing we can do now is to remember fond memories of these family reunions, or call them. So, feeling down lately? Miss so much people aside from family? Call them up! It’ll make their day, as yours too. Stay safe, ya’ll!
Screw all those stupid rules Let’s just be ourselves just for now; We don’t have any time to lose. Lets just have fun, but how? You start a conversation One full of ridiculous nonsense. It makes my eyes sparkle with laughter, Then you notice and I quickly turn away. The next day, all you do is stare at me. I wonder what this feeling’s supposed to be? Late nights with friends, scoldings together, Long converstaions over the phone. Late the next day again, Fail on the test again Eyes once more sparkle with joy At the sight of you. So much fun we had together, So much things we went through together, Those times when we were lost together But now our hearts are found. Those times when we would laugh Our throats would be sore the next day. Now I know what that feeling is It’s a sense of belonging, a sense of friendship-- Something I have never felt before, Something I really love. It’s nice to have someone to be there for you. It’s wonderful to just be with you. Without that mask of who I pretended to be, How wonderful to have friends like you. Thank you, I really appreciate it Thank you, for being my dearest friends.
Head full of thoughts Heart empty. Mind full of dreams; Ones that can’t be fulfilled. But my feelings are still hopeful For the end of this crisis; And then my heart is slowly filling up With sense of belonging, A sense of love from you. You simply take me away From the darkness surrounding me. Before I shouted: Oh help, I'm drowning, But you pulled me out of the black pool; You wiped my tears dry. You comforted me throughout our friendship. No more of sadness, No more of loneliness. They are forever banished from my mind. Thoughts of you and your love surrounding me Will stay forever in my mind forevermore. Thank you for protecting me; Thank you for the times We spent with each other. Birthdays, meetings-- I will treasure these forever In this little mind of mine. Memories of togetherness Will never be forgotten. My candle of love For you will never be extinguished. Thank you so much, dear friend For helping me on the way To happiness and love. I hope this friendship will never end, For I love you so very much. Mountains we climbed, Hard, cold ones too. Rough currents we waded through, But we've crossed the bridge of hardship, And we've finally reached our plce, That sweet, sweet place In the world of memory, love, everlasting friendship, and trust.