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bts

14june2021

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Uncategorized

june7.2021

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poems

summer misery

sunlight comes in through an old window,
sparrows sing in the mango trees outside.
although it is a bright day, it’s dark for me-
with unexplainable feelings deep inside.

drawers are open, walls are bare.
summer breeze is hot, secrets float in.
i cry myself to sleep, who cares?
no one, really- they do not know.

drawings and drafts are torn to pieces,
thrown carelessly on the dirty floor.
last night there was love, laughter, and kisses,
but all of that i left behind.

the bed is messy, pillow wet with tears
it still smells of you, sweet and warm.
i have too many secrets, and still more fears
for today and tomorrow, and what is to come.



Categories
poems

cats

if a cat can meow, a meow can cat.
and I don’t know what I’m wondering at.

-Stevie, my sister.
Categories
poems

wish

make a wish
at the lunar eclipse.
you will never know
what awaits in the future.

make a wish
at falling stars.
no matter where you are,
you are always more than what you think.

make a wish
if you can, everyday.
maybe you’ll see the people you miss
and say more things you wanted to say.
Categories
poems

touch the light

I told myself so many times not to touch the light
For fear of losing what I had with me.
But when I approached the flame, bright,
I finally saw what I wanted to see.

All my memories faded into the white light
All those unforgettable tales and fights.
They were all gone, and all that was left was you
And I thought, “Where is this going to?”

I told myself not to tell all the things I wanted to say
Because I was scared and I didn’t want to see who I thought I was.
But, as a thought came to me, I told them anyway
And out came the real me, without any fuss.

All my emotions flowed out as words
Words untold for so many years
They flew out of me as birds,
Birds in the form of my unshed tears.

I used to tell myself I couldn’t be who i was in front of them
And that I couldn’t do it anyway.
But here I am, laughing again,
Saying all the things I wanted to say.
Categories
poems

deserted roads

No one is walking in the streets anymore
No smiles can be seen on faces like before.
Deprived of cars, the road looks empty,
Gone is the hustle and bustle of the city.
Categories
poems Thoughts

longingly

I look at them longingly, just after the fight ebbs away. 
I look at them again, after a long day.
I look at them longingly, with so much love in my eyes,
But then there’s the enemy, playing as friends in disguise.

I look at them lovingly, just after a long week
After so many days, I take just one peek.
I look at them lovingly, with the saddest smile on my face
Like a girl who ended up in the wrong time and place.

I look at them sadly, not being able to join in
Not being able to tell them what’s within.
I look at them sadly, with a small light of happiness in my eyes
And I look at them, staring, thinking of this world, a lie.

I look at them longingly, only being able to watch.
I look at them longingly; I miss them so much.
I look at them sadly, hearing their shouts in play.
I look at them lovingly, if only they could hear what I say.
Categories
poems Thoughts

lake

Glassy waters glisten like silver 
The air is cold and makes me shiver
The bonfire crackle at night sings me to sleep
While my sister and I cuddle in the soft sheets.

First time we’re going out for fun
First time being able to run
In the cold air, free as the wild horses
While the canoes on the lake begin their courses.

The tent shakes and seems like it’s shivering in the rain.
I think of hiking on a trail, a terrain.
It is a little strange to think that other people are at home
While the four of us— around the island we roam.

My jacket wraps around me as I struggle to get to the tent
I think of all the things and places we went.
I feel so lucky, so awed by the view
Of the glassy lake, beckoning us to begin our life anew.
Categories
poems Thoughts

joy gone

In a dead garden, I sit alone,
Wondering where you had gone.
My heart so lonely, cold as stone,
Falling to the ground, done.
I know that all of this will never change,
It never did.
My life is never gonna be the same,
My joys and treasures hid.

Beside a withered rose I stand
My mind wandering steadily away.
I keep thinking of your hand,
Once around mine everyday.
I feel so broken, so alone,
I can’t take any more.
Only crimson remains on the rose’s stone
Where I had been before.

My books they burn into the night
Casting dark shadows all around.
The fire burns so bright,
Scares away the feisty hound.
I had been here once before,
Thinking silence was my favorite sound.
But now, I see the sadness I have in store,
And I realized that I looked for things I had never found.

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poems Thoughts

changes

Life used to be a world of wonder
A world of mystery, of love and light.
But our dreams have been knocked asunder
And the birds have fallen after their first flight.
Categories
poems Thoughts

voices

I’m scared to feel pain, yet I long for it. 
I’m scared to stand up, for fear of falling.
I’m scared to light the candle, for it won’t stay lit.
And I’m scared to answer when the voice is calling.
Categories
songs Thoughts

pretty creature

coffee fills the air outside 
breakfast dishes and sunlight
furry being gonna hide
quiet mind where hurts abide

soft pillow wet with tears
blank features yet so many fears
everything distant seems far away
moonlight outshone the day

this silence is not the same one i used to hear
the air is hung with so many tears

pretty creature please dont go
where there was summer there is snow
pretty creature dont go away
where there was night there is day

please dont leave
please dont leave
please dont leave me here

white dress stained with chocolate
i dont wanna cry yet
everything reminds me of you
can lies be really true?

flowers wilting by the windowsill
daffodils grow by the water mill
its all so blindingly bright
this new sunlight

pretty creature please dont go
where there was summer there is snow
pretty creature dont go away
where there was night there is day

please dont leave
please dont leave
please dont leave me here

gone, gone with the wind
love, love’s all pretend
gone, gone so fast
nothing ever lasts

pretty creature, is love real
pretty creature, do you feel
pretty creature will you go
just like the melting snow?

Categories
poems

zenith

stand at the zenith and burn
into ashes, placed in an urn.
stand at the pole and freeze
there were never such beautiful eyes as these.
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poems Thoughts

music box

I once had a music box, a music box without sound. 
Not one note it had, for its gears were rusted round.
Some told me it was worthless, and that it was a waste of time,
But I believe it’s special, more special than my rhymes.

The music box’s key was lost somewhere
Because it was moved from here to there.
It came from a land far, far away
Where the sun’s rays touched the sea all day.

The music box was a gift on a special day
When couples gathered; on the grass they lay.
It once played soft music through the summer air
But now the music faded from wear.

Rain and sun, and rain again
Was the fate of this faithful friend
And soon it was passed on to my hands
The music box with the beauty of all lands.

Alas, the rust took all of its shine
The shine worn down by cunning time.
The silent music I had always heard
While behind me sang the birds.

Though I had never heard its sweet melody
I am very sure that it was lovely.
But now, though I hear its silent singing,
It leads me to white dresses and bells ringing.

For the silent music there was no cure
To revive its music, beautiful and pure.
But now, I hold it as a gift of love,
Whose giver is now in heaven above.

˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜

Hello everyone! It’s been such a long time.

Anyway, this poem’s first lines came into my head when my sister did some poking around in my stuff, most imporantly the special jewelry chest that was given to me by my grandmother.

Special? Yes.

This jewelry case has one cabinet on the right, and four drawers on the left. It is maroon-colored, and on the bottom there is a note. This note came from my late grandfather, given to my grandmother on Valentine’s Day.

On the 21st of April, just a few days ago, it was my grandfather’s fifth anniversary.

This jewelry chest had a small music box that I discovered last year, at around November. When I took the compartment apart (being some bored idiot), I found that it didn’t work. It was all rusty, and covered in cobwebs. Then, because I was in a thoughtful mood that day, I decided to think about that day when it was given to my grandmother. As nearly all my ideas turn into a story, song, or poem, I wrote my ideas down and it turned into this.

˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜

I will publish a series of number-titled poems soon! I missed this blog so much!

Categories
poems Thoughts Uncategorized

i told myself

I told myself so many times not to touch the light 
For fear of losing what I had with me 
But when I approached the flame, bright 
I finally saw what I wanted to see.  

All my memories faded into the white light 
All those unforgettable tales and fights 
They were all gone, and all that was left was you 
And I thought, “Where is this going to?” 

I told myself not to tell all the things I wanted to say Because I was scared and I didn’t want to see who I thought I was 
But, as a thought came to me, I told them anyway 
And out came the real me, without any fuss.  

All my emotions flowed out as words 
Words untold for so many years 
They flew out of me as birds, 
Birds in the form of my unshed tears.  

I used to tell myself I couldn’t be myself in front of them And that I couldn’t do it anyway.  
But here I am, laughing again, 
Saying all the things I wanted to say.

ˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆ

Everyone.

Here’s what I have to say.

Be yourselves, even if people don’t accept you. You have to accept yourself for others to accept you.

Love yourself. It’s better to be hated for who you are, than to be hated for who you pretend to be.

Love yourself and everone around you, like what Jesus did to his persecutors.

Thanks for the inspiration @fayannswearing !

Categories
songs Thoughts

shadow

Some people think that flying high is easy. 
Some think it feels so nice because it’s bright. 
But once you get to the top, you’ll get wheezy,
Because in front of you’s a shadow and not the light.  

It keeps growing with every step I take,
It keeps showing in every song I make.
Nothing really helps, I’m hopeless when it comes to me,
So I can’t really understand why you chose me.

How can I know you when I don’t know myself? 
Why do want me and not someone else? 
I can’t even be who I would’ve wanted to be 
So why is it me you always want to see? 

Some people think climbing mountains is easy-  
So cold, yet so warm, and just so bright.  
But once you get to the top, you’ll get wheezy 
Because in front of you’s a shadow and not the light.    

It keeps growing with every step I take,
It keeps showing in every song I make.
Nothing really helps, I’m hopeless when it comes to me,
So I can’t really understand why you chose me.

How can I know you when I don’t know myself? 
Why do want me and not someone else? 
I can’t even be who I would’ve wanted to be, 
So why is it me you always want to see? 

I can’t understand  
I can’t control it 
I can barely stand 
And I just don’t fit 

How can I know you when I don’t know myself? 
Why do want me and not someone else? 
I can’t even be who I would’ve wanted to be 
So why is it me you always want to see?
˚ ˚ ˚ ˚ ˚ ˚ ˚ ˚ ˚ ˚ ˚ ˚ ˚ ˚ ˚ ˚ ˚ ˚ ˚ 

Hello everyone! I haven’t posted for two months, so it’s really nice to be back. (This is a little strange. What a happy greeting when this song’s so sad.)

Anyway…..

This song is about sadness. You out there, anyone, you might know how that feels. Everyday, that heavy feeling grows.

But for all that I know, there is something that makes us happy. Whether it’s the music we listen to, the flowers outside our windows, or the traffic jam that never happened.

And for all I know, something that will make all of us happy, is the end of the pandemic. I’m pretty sure that it will end, and it’s something that we should all look forward to everyday. We all need something to look forward to.

What’s yours?

Categories
poems Thoughts

My Dear Friend

Dear my friend, how are you now? 
Remember those days we got into trouble together, got scolded together? 
My old friend, where are you now? 
Remember those days we used to play 
Hide and seek under the moonlit sky? 
My old friend, I’m fine here,  
I’ve got so much to tell you, 
All about my life and wanderings, 
All my written works and songs.  
I miss you, my dear friend, I hope you’re fine.  
I hope you aren’t alone and sad.  

My old friend, something happened today: 
A fight, then I came home wounded and hurt. 
My old friend, I hope the same doesn’t happen to you.  
Do you remember the arguments, the hurts and pains we had together? 
My old friend, I miss you so much.  
My old friend, snow’s falling on my world.  
Why does it have to be so sad?  
Why did you have to go there, where I couldn’t find you? 
My old friend, the cold rain is soaking me, dripping through my lonely form on the road.  
I miss you my dear friend, 
I wish you were here with me, telling me about your day.  
My old friend, I hope you aren’t six feet under the ground, where it is all loneliness and desolation.  
I hope you’re happy with your life there, enjoying yourself and possibly other acquaintances.  
My dear friend, goodbye, I have to go now.  
My dear friend, goodnight.  

ˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆ

One afternoon in September last year, I sat by the window and two songs came into my head: Dear my friend by Agust D, and My Old Friend by Unique Salonga.

This pandemic makes one miss so many friends and family, no?

I remembered how life used to be before COVID-19, carefree and happy. Then, a few days after writing this up, I saw a window in the distance, with no lights for several days now. Then came that feeling: is the person living there okay? There was also that thought that one is always continuously terrified of: “What if my friends or family- Are they okay-?

Then I video-called the two group chats I was in. Thank God everything and everyone was alright!

Categories
poems Thoughts

swallowed up in sadness

I wanna cry, I wanna shout, 
Run around and scream.  
I open my mouth, but no sound comes out— 
Just these feelings, frightful and mean.

Just myself that scares me, 
I don’t know what it is.  
I want others to understand and see, 
But they’re drowning in their bliss.  

There’s a bag of stones in my heart, 
Makes me wonder how it came. 
Makes me pick up the shard  
On the floor, and let it go, all the same.  

I wonder if the accident that came a day ago 
Could me be in the white car? 
Maybe in a week or so 
I will escape to darkness far.  

I get up, only to fall down again, 
Then drop wordlessly on the floor.  
I just want to see my friends 
And run outside, past the door. 

Here I am trapped in a box 
With a heavy feeling in my heart 
Eventually, I tear at the locks 
Of my hair, and wish it didn’t start.  

Why did this ever begin? 
When will it end? 
Why is my life suddenly thrown in a bin, 
And my heart distorted and bent?

˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚

When emotions take over you, it’s overwhelming.

Especially when they tell you to give up on the things you’d normally agree to and work hard for.

So many questions.

So little answers.

It’s just life.

Like our ancestors, we must move forward to where we want to be. For the people coming after us, so they can stand on our shoulders and grow.

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Uncategorized

Belles-Lettres

For those with a head too noisy the past days, I advise you to take this in and relax. Please visit Yassy’s blog too!

yaskhan

A poem rises 
From silent words:
Inkwell blue

Words melt 
Out of the quietness;
Drawing the indigo out
In the lifting of quill
The color of words
Warm
My home becomes a
Belles-lettres morning-
And a limitless sky

Raw, the virgin stain on my fingers
The curve of the cursive
In the fire of your eyes
The whisper of words
In the soul's keeping.

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Uncategorized

BECAUSE YOU CAN

This really lifted my spirits up. Maybe it might do the same for you guys!

Little Things

stop listening to a sad melody.
quit wandering in deep melancholy.
when almost everything is said and done,
try to move forward because you can.

at times, every sorrow tends to pile up
heartbreaks, heartaches, like boulders they drop
these are all hardships to be human
please cry it out because you can

stop living in a world of regrets.
face the fears and painful secrets.
hurt yourself with truth, don’t run.
embrace your flaws because you can.

the world is radiant, merry, and sunny.
just change your mindset, and you will see.
when you are left with none and no one,
try to be sanguine because you can.

hindrances are always present.
a quest for greatness is not always pleasant.
giving up is never part of the plan.
flash a smile because you can.

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Categories
poems Thoughts

for you.

You’re a puzzle I need to solve, 
You’re a lock and I am the key.  
You are the sun and I revolve 
Around you, can’t you see? 

You’re achievement I need to unlock, 
You’re the brightest star in the night. 
You’re the waves that make my ship rock, 
You are wind that moves out of sight.  

And you have become one part of me 
Part of my life, part of my soul 
And you help me through times when troubles unfold.  

You are the wonderful rose that blooms, 
You’re the clouds that float over me. 
You are the the cornerstone of the room, 
You are the blue that lingers in sea. 

You are the moon that glows in the night, 
You are the sun that shines through the rain.  
You are the lamp that keeps away fright, 
You are the person who drives me insane.  

You have been with me all of my life, 
You have seen me laugh and cry.  
You have embraced me, though I was selfish  
You have stayed with me through strife.  

You are my world 
You are something wonderful  
You are italic and bold 
You are the wind that keeps me cool.  

So thank you, for all you have done.  
Thank you for joining me in battles where we have won.  
And you have become one part of me 
Part of my life, part of my soul 
And you help me through times when troubles unfold. 

My parents and my sister have been with me all my life, and stuck with me through everything. This is also something for anyone out there who needs cheering up, and most importantly, to my mom, dad, and my sister. This poem is barely one-millionth of all the words to describe all those loving family members you have out there. Whoever you are, wherever you are, go give your family an “I love you,” and a “Thank you!”

Categories
Thoughts

I remember…

So many things have happened, 
So many people I met, 
So many places we’ve been to, 
So many songs I played. 

Now I have been gone too long.
I wanna sing this song 
Just for you, just for you. 

I still remember those summer evenings, 
I still remember the feel of your hand in mine; 
And what I remember the most,  
Is the wonderful full moon over our heads, 
And you telling me that I was far more beautiful than them.  

So many things I’ve broken, 
So many bad experiences 
And still so many sad songs I listened to, 
Even more miserable times. 

Now I have been gone too long 
I wanna sing this song 
Just for you, just for you. 

But the stars at night shine brighter when you are with me, The moon seems bigger, brighter, more beautiful,  
All because of you.  
I still remember those summer evenings, 
I still remember the feel of your hand in mine; 
And what I remember the most,  
Is the wonderful full moon over our heads, 
And you.

˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚

Some of my friends are wondering what all these poems mean. Well, from now on, I will write each poem or song’s meaning below.

I wrote this poem two months ago, and I remembered my friends next door, and how we used to talk a lot under the night sky.

If you notice, I take much inspiration from the night sky. I was named after the moon, and it turns out that I have a special attraction to the night sky. I find the moon and stars beautiful, along with the clouds and the blue sky.

For everyone there who misses their friends or loved ones, it’s not going to be forever that you are separated from them.

Categories
poems Thoughts

The Sinking Sun

The sun sets and sinks below the sea’s rim, 
Hissing and boiling, perhaps it cools within 
The ocean’s waters, embracing the sun as a friend, 
And at last, for us, the day finally ends.  

The sun will sink, and rise again in the morning, 
When we are all awake and done snoring.  
The birds will be singing in the morning sky 
And slowly, without us noticing, time passes by.  

Breakfast, lunch, and dinner passes with glee.  
Mother calls, “It’s time to sleep!” 
The sun has sunk into the sea once more, 
And in the moonlight, the birds’ throats are sore 
From singing all day, from dusk till dawn 
But now we must sleep, like a deer to it’s fawn.  

In the morning, we get up again, 
We hurry next door to see our friends.  
We talk of school and days long since gone 
And we write much, paper rises to a ton.  

Jokes we tell under the late afternoon sky, 
One, two times, we hear a baby cry.  
“Let’s go to the shore, to see the sunset! 
And I’ll reach the our wonderful sea first, I bet!”