city lights

blurry sight
another fight
tears are rolling down my cheeks

the city lights
are so bright
even when I drown in the sheets

I’m afraid
of what they’ll say
what they’ll do
or what theyll think

maybe I’m
not good enough
too worthless
to even sink

the other side of the world

Mine is night, yours is day
I think of you to keep the ghosts away.
poems Thoughts

contacts and a girl’s ridiculous thoughts

Hello, it’s me
Consigliere D.
Wish I could be
Your teen fantasy
Too bad, I’m never gonna be.

Hey, it’s me
Trying to figure out what to see.
Never looked lovely,
Never looked sad,
Just thinking of dreams of boys I had.

Whatever, hi
I’m just passing by
I never thought that you and I
Would fight.
*rolls eyes*

LMBO, it’s me
A glass of old milk on the table
Always felt unstable
But I never tell my mom or friends
Maybe this is how it ends.

How are you? I’m here
To wipe away your tears
Though you have so many fears
I’m here, to fight with you
To fight the blue
I love you
I always did and still do.

Some notes on this poem:

It’s my first time putting modern (or made-up) acronyms in a poem. “LMBO” is something my friend made up. It means “laughing my butt off.” She doesn’t like cursing. She talks in the fourth verse.

The first includes one of my friend’s names in my contacts. (Someone please tell me how to pronounce “Comsigliere!”)

The second is me talking to myself.

The third is a past friend talking. He isn’t my friend anymore due to a big fight we had.

The last one is my own self, or who I wish to be, comforting my past self, which is me now.



She never smiles anymore
Everytime I get the key, it’s not to the right door
When she cries she looks so torn
Everytime I see her I wonder if she loves any more.


You say everything will be fine
You say I’ll be alright
You say every rainshower stops
But why is mine still here?

You say I’ll find my own happiness
You say it will all calm down
But that joy is locked inside a chest
And everything seems wrong.

music songs

till death do us part

Please, don’t hate yourself
It wasnt your fault
Please, don’t run away
Stay another day

When it gets heavy
When things get hard
I’m here, here and ready
For you to open up your heart

Stay still
Where you lay
I’m here
Tomorrow and today
Dont hate your heart
Be who you are
And stay
Till death do us part

Please, I love you
You and your mistakes
It makes you you

Don’t go away
You’re part of me
You have so much to say
Don’t leave

When it gets heavy
When it gets hard
I’m here, here and ready
For you to open up your heart

Stay still
Where you lay
I’m here
Tomorrow and today
Dont hate your heart
Be who you are
And stay
Till death do us part

The sea may be rough
The land may hate you
But you are enough
You’re the person I come home to

Stay still
Where you lay
I’m here
Tomorrow and today
Don’t hate your heart
Be who you are
And stay
Till death do us part



made up

I think I made you up in my head. 
Are you dead?
I wish I was you instead.

short stories Thoughts


It was heavy.

No, not the bag I was carrying in my hand. It was that feeling in my chest.

I walked along the corner of Malingap Street and Kalayaan Avenue, past the Japanese food house. I was on my way to the bank to withdraw some money. It was early in the morning in the month of June, and the mayas were busily chirping their gossip from their homes in the fire trees.

I sighed and made a short poem in my head.

She was so beautiful,
So sad, dressed in cobwebs and tears
She stood on the church steeple,
And as a little boy nears
The old stone—

I tripped. Yes, it was a stupid thing to do in the middle of the road, especially when you were wearing a mask and with Beethoven screaming in you ears.

Most people, when they fall down, try to get up. I did not.

I probably looked crazy lying in the middle of the road watching the mayas feed their babies up in the mango tree. Luckily there were no cars; the whole city was under strict quarantine.

It reminded me of my mother. No, not the quarantine, but the birds.

My name was Isabela for the Isabela Oriole, her favorite bird. I missed my mother. We had been forced apart by the pandemic.

I decided to call her. I never even went to the bank anymore. As soon as I got home I called her up.

I dont know what time we started, or the time we ended. But I knew for sure that we talked for a long, long time.

At the end I was as light as a cloud drifting through the blue skies, bluer now that there were less people going out.

Mother Nature had a way of healing, and I found mine. Here I was thinking that there was no way to drive that dark cloud out of me when what I needed was right here all along.

Author’s note: you can look at a map or pictures of Quezon City, Philippines, if you want to know where Isabela is. I hope you enjoyed this!



do i ask for too much,
too much of your time?
because from what i remember
you said, “i love you, you’re mine.”

do i get too close,
too close to you
so that you glare at me, mad?
because i only hoped you thought
you weren’t the only one who was sad.

is it far too much, to breathe next to you?
is this even love, what you do
to me?
set me free.
you act like this, but youre nice to my friends,
i hope you realize, cause i dont want this to end—
i dont want to want to end
this so-called love.

feeling sick

painting edits

a jikook edit

poems Thoughts

rainbow at night

is it possible to see a rainbow at night
when everything and everyone is asleep?
when the little boy in his bed cowers in fright
of the darkness, the silence, and the things that creep.

is it possible to see the clouds tear up in the sky
when everything is still and silent?
when the night bird sings and flutters by
on her ebony-colored wings through the trees, quiet.

the rainbow at night cannot be seen,
for it is hidden away.
but look closely in the moonshine,
and you will see it, swallowed up by the day.

bts crafts







summer misery

sunlight comes in through an old window,
sparrows sing in the mango trees outside.
although it is a bright day, it’s dark for me-
with unexplainable feelings deep inside.

drawers are open, walls are bare.
summer breeze is hot, secrets float in.
i cry myself to sleep, who cares?
no one, really- they do not know.

drawings and drafts are torn to pieces,
thrown carelessly on the dirty floor.
last night there was love, laughter, and kisses,
but all of that i left behind.

the bed is messy, pillow wet with tears
it still smells of you, sweet and warm.
i have too many secrets, and still more fears
for today and tomorrow, and what is to come.



if a cat can meow, a meow can cat.
and I don’t know what I’m wondering at.

-Stevie, my sister.


make a wish
at the lunar eclipse.
you will never know
what awaits in the future.

make a wish
at falling stars.
no matter where you are,
you are always more than what you think.

make a wish
if you can, everyday.
maybe you’ll see the people you miss
and say more things you wanted to say.

touch the light

I told myself so many times not to touch the light
For fear of losing what I had with me.
But when I approached the flame, bright,
I finally saw what I wanted to see.

All my memories faded into the white light
All those unforgettable tales and fights.
They were all gone, and all that was left was you
And I thought, “Where is this going to?”

I told myself not to tell all the things I wanted to say
Because I was scared and I didn’t want to see who I thought I was.
But, as a thought came to me, I told them anyway
And out came the real me, without any fuss.

All my emotions flowed out as words
Words untold for so many years
They flew out of me as birds,
Birds in the form of my unshed tears.

I used to tell myself I couldn’t be who i was in front of them
And that I couldn’t do it anyway.
But here I am, laughing again,
Saying all the things I wanted to say.

deserted roads

No one is walking in the streets anymore
No smiles can be seen on faces like before.
Deprived of cars, the road looks empty,
Gone is the hustle and bustle of the city.
poems Thoughts


I look at them longingly, just after the fight ebbs away. 
I look at them again, after a long day.
I look at them longingly, with so much love in my eyes,
But then there’s the enemy, playing as friends in disguise.

I look at them lovingly, just after a long week
After so many days, I take just one peek.
I look at them lovingly, with the saddest smile on my face
Like a girl who ended up in the wrong time and place.

I look at them sadly, not being able to join in
Not being able to tell them what’s within.
I look at them sadly, with a small light of happiness in my eyes
And I look at them, staring, thinking of this world, a lie.

I look at them longingly, only being able to watch.
I look at them longingly; I miss them so much.
I look at them sadly, hearing their shouts in play.
I look at them lovingly, if only they could hear what I say.
poems Thoughts


Glassy waters glisten like silver 
The air is cold and makes me shiver
The bonfire crackle at night sings me to sleep
While my sister and I cuddle in the soft sheets.

First time we’re going out for fun
First time being able to run
In the cold air, free as the wild horses
While the canoes on the lake begin their courses.

The tent shakes and seems like it’s shivering in the rain.
I think of hiking on a trail, a terrain.
It is a little strange to think that other people are at home
While the four of us— around the island we roam.

My jacket wraps around me as I struggle to get to the tent
I think of all the things and places we went.
I feel so lucky, so awed by the view
Of the glassy lake, beckoning us to begin our life anew.
poems Thoughts

joy gone

In a dead garden, I sit alone,
Wondering where you had gone.
My heart so lonely, cold as stone,
Falling to the ground, done.
I know that all of this will never change,
It never did.
My life is never gonna be the same,
My joys and treasures hid.

Beside a withered rose I stand
My mind wandering steadily away.
I keep thinking of your hand,
Once around mine everyday.
I feel so broken, so alone,
I can’t take any more.
Only crimson remains on the rose’s stone
Where I had been before.

My books they burn into the night
Casting dark shadows all around.
The fire burns so bright,
Scares away the feisty hound.
I had been here once before,
Thinking silence was my favorite sound.
But now, I see the sadness I have in store,
And I realized that I looked for things I had never found.

poems Thoughts


Life used to be a world of wonder
A world of mystery, of love and light.
But our dreams have been knocked asunder
And the birds have fallen after their first flight.