Categories
music songs

till death do us part

Please, don’t hate yourself
It wasnt your fault
Please, don’t run away
Stay another day

When it gets heavy
When things get hard
I’m here, here and ready
For you to open up your heart

Stay still
Where you lay
I’m here
Tomorrow and today
Dont hate your heart
Be who you are
And stay
Till death do us part

Please, I love you
You and your mistakes
It makes you you

Don’t go away
You’re part of me
You have so much to say
Don’t leave

When it gets heavy
When it gets hard
I’m here, here and ready
For you to open up your heart

Stay still
Where you lay
I’m here
Tomorrow and today
Dont hate your heart
Be who you are
And stay
Till death do us part

The sea may be rough
The land may hate you
But you are enough
You’re the person I come home to

Stay still
Where you lay
I’m here
Tomorrow and today
Don’t hate your heart
Be who you are
And stay
Till death do us part


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Categories
poems

made up

I think I made you up in my head. 
Are you dead?
I wish I was you instead.

Categories
short stories Thoughts

Clouds

It was heavy.

No, not the bag I was carrying in my hand. It was that feeling in my chest.

I walked along the corner of Malingap Street and Kalayaan Avenue, past the Japanese food house. I was on my way to the bank to withdraw some money. It was early in the morning in the month of June, and the mayas were busily chirping their gossip from their homes in the fire trees.

I sighed and made a short poem in my head.

She was so beautiful,
So sad, dressed in cobwebs and tears
She stood on the church steeple,
And as a little boy nears
The old stone—

I tripped. Yes, it was a stupid thing to do in the middle of the road, especially when you were wearing a mask and with Beethoven screaming in you ears.

Most people, when they fall down, try to get up. I did not.

I probably looked crazy lying in the middle of the road watching the mayas feed their babies up in the mango tree. Luckily there were no cars; the whole city was under strict quarantine.

It reminded me of my mother. No, not the quarantine, but the birds.

My name was Isabela for the Isabela Oriole, her favorite bird. I missed my mother. We had been forced apart by the pandemic.

I decided to call her. I never even went to the bank anymore. As soon as I got home I called her up.

I dont know what time we started, or the time we ended. But I knew for sure that we talked for a long, long time.

At the end I was as light as a cloud drifting through the blue skies, bluer now that there were less people going out.

Mother Nature had a way of healing, and I found mine. Here I was thinking that there was no way to drive that dark cloud out of me when what I needed was right here all along.

Author’s note: you can look at a map or pictures of Quezon City, Philippines, if you want to know where Isabela is. I hope you enjoyed this!

Categories
songs

070621

do i ask for too much,
too much of your time?
because from what i remember
you said, “i love you, you’re mine.”

do i get too close,
too close to you
so that you glare at me, mad?
because i only hoped you thought
you weren’t the only one who was sad.

is it far too much, to breathe next to you?
is this even love, what you do
to me?
set me free.
you act like this, but youre nice to my friends,
i hope you realize, cause i dont want this to end—
i dont want to want to end
this so-called love.
Categories
music

feeling sick

Categories
painting edits

a jikook edit

Categories
poems Thoughts

rainbow at night

is it possible to see a rainbow at night
when everything and everyone is asleep?
when the little boy in his bed cowers in fright
of the darkness, the silence, and the things that creep.

is it possible to see the clouds tear up in the sky
when everything is still and silent?
when the night bird sings and flutters by
on her ebony-colored wings through the trees, quiet.

the rainbow at night cannot be seen,
for it is hidden away.
but look closely in the moonshine,
and you will see it, swallowed up by the day.



Categories
bts crafts

18june2021

Categories
bts

14june2021

Categories
Uncategorized

june7.2021

Categories
poems

summer misery

sunlight comes in through an old window,
sparrows sing in the mango trees outside.
although it is a bright day, it’s dark for me-
with unexplainable feelings deep inside.

drawers are open, walls are bare.
summer breeze is hot, secrets float in.
i cry myself to sleep, who cares?
no one, really- they do not know.

drawings and drafts are torn to pieces,
thrown carelessly on the dirty floor.
last night there was love, laughter, and kisses,
but all of that i left behind.

the bed is messy, pillow wet with tears
it still smells of you, sweet and warm.
i have too many secrets, and still more fears
for today and tomorrow, and what is to come.



Categories
poems

cats

if a cat can meow, a meow can cat.
and I don’t know what I’m wondering at.

-Stevie, my sister.
Categories
poems

wish

make a wish
at the lunar eclipse.
you will never know
what awaits in the future.

make a wish
at falling stars.
no matter where you are,
you are always more than what you think.

make a wish
if you can, everyday.
maybe you’ll see the people you miss
and say more things you wanted to say.
Categories
poems

touch the light

I told myself so many times not to touch the light
For fear of losing what I had with me.
But when I approached the flame, bright,
I finally saw what I wanted to see.

All my memories faded into the white light
All those unforgettable tales and fights.
They were all gone, and all that was left was you
And I thought, “Where is this going to?”

I told myself not to tell all the things I wanted to say
Because I was scared and I didn’t want to see who I thought I was.
But, as a thought came to me, I told them anyway
And out came the real me, without any fuss.

All my emotions flowed out as words
Words untold for so many years
They flew out of me as birds,
Birds in the form of my unshed tears.

I used to tell myself I couldn’t be who i was in front of them
And that I couldn’t do it anyway.
But here I am, laughing again,
Saying all the things I wanted to say.
Categories
poems

deserted roads

No one is walking in the streets anymore
No smiles can be seen on faces like before.
Deprived of cars, the road looks empty,
Gone is the hustle and bustle of the city.
Categories
poems Thoughts

longingly

I look at them longingly, just after the fight ebbs away. 
I look at them again, after a long day.
I look at them longingly, with so much love in my eyes,
But then there’s the enemy, playing as friends in disguise.

I look at them lovingly, just after a long week
After so many days, I take just one peek.
I look at them lovingly, with the saddest smile on my face
Like a girl who ended up in the wrong time and place.

I look at them sadly, not being able to join in
Not being able to tell them what’s within.
I look at them sadly, with a small light of happiness in my eyes
And I look at them, staring, thinking of this world, a lie.

I look at them longingly, only being able to watch.
I look at them longingly; I miss them so much.
I look at them sadly, hearing their shouts in play.
I look at them lovingly, if only they could hear what I say.
Categories
poems Thoughts

lake

Glassy waters glisten like silver 
The air is cold and makes me shiver
The bonfire crackle at night sings me to sleep
While my sister and I cuddle in the soft sheets.

First time we’re going out for fun
First time being able to run
In the cold air, free as the wild horses
While the canoes on the lake begin their courses.

The tent shakes and seems like it’s shivering in the rain.
I think of hiking on a trail, a terrain.
It is a little strange to think that other people are at home
While the four of us— around the island we roam.

My jacket wraps around me as I struggle to get to the tent
I think of all the things and places we went.
I feel so lucky, so awed by the view
Of the glassy lake, beckoning us to begin our life anew.
Categories
poems Thoughts

joy gone

In a dead garden, I sit alone,
Wondering where you had gone.
My heart so lonely, cold as stone,
Falling to the ground, done.
I know that all of this will never change,
It never did.
My life is never gonna be the same,
My joys and treasures hid.

Beside a withered rose I stand
My mind wandering steadily away.
I keep thinking of your hand,
Once around mine everyday.
I feel so broken, so alone,
I can’t take any more.
Only crimson remains on the rose’s stone
Where I had been before.

My books they burn into the night
Casting dark shadows all around.
The fire burns so bright,
Scares away the feisty hound.
I had been here once before,
Thinking silence was my favorite sound.
But now, I see the sadness I have in store,
And I realized that I looked for things I had never found.

Categories
poems Thoughts

changes

Life used to be a world of wonder
A world of mystery, of love and light.
But our dreams have been knocked asunder
And the birds have fallen after their first flight.
Categories
poems Thoughts

voices

I’m scared to feel pain, yet I long for it. 
I’m scared to stand up, for fear of falling.
I’m scared to light the candle, for it won’t stay lit.
And I’m scared to answer when the voice is calling.
Categories
songs Thoughts

pretty creature

coffee fills the air outside 
breakfast dishes and sunlight
furry being gonna hide
quiet mind where hurts abide

soft pillow wet with tears
blank features yet so many fears
everything distant seems far away
moonlight outshone the day

this silence is not the same one i used to hear
the air is hung with so many tears

pretty creature please dont go
where there was summer there is snow
pretty creature dont go away
where there was night there is day

please dont leave
please dont leave
please dont leave me here

white dress stained with chocolate
i dont wanna cry yet
everything reminds me of you
can lies be really true?

flowers wilting by the windowsill
daffodils grow by the water mill
its all so blindingly bright
this new sunlight

pretty creature please dont go
where there was summer there is snow
pretty creature dont go away
where there was night there is day

please dont leave
please dont leave
please dont leave me here

gone, gone with the wind
love, love’s all pretend
gone, gone so fast
nothing ever lasts

pretty creature, is love real
pretty creature, do you feel
pretty creature will you go
just like the melting snow?

Categories
poems

zenith

stand at the zenith and burn
into ashes, placed in an urn.
stand at the pole and freeze
there were never such beautiful eyes as these.
Categories
poems Thoughts

music box

I once had a music box, a music box without sound. 
Not one note it had, for its gears were rusted round.
Some told me it was worthless, and that it was a waste of time,
But I believe it’s special, more special than my rhymes.

The music box’s key was lost somewhere
Because it was moved from here to there.
It came from a land far, far away
Where the sun’s rays touched the sea all day.

The music box was a gift on a special day
When couples gathered; on the grass they lay.
It once played soft music through the summer air
But now the music faded from wear.

Rain and sun, and rain again
Was the fate of this faithful friend
And soon it was passed on to my hands
The music box with the beauty of all lands.

Alas, the rust took all of its shine
The shine worn down by cunning time.
The silent music I had always heard
While behind me sang the birds.

Though I had never heard its sweet melody
I am very sure that it was lovely.
But now, though I hear its silent singing,
It leads me to white dresses and bells ringing.

For the silent music there was no cure
To revive its music, beautiful and pure.
But now, I hold it as a gift of love,
Whose giver is now in heaven above.

˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜

Hello everyone! It’s been such a long time.

Anyway, this poem’s first lines came into my head when my sister did some poking around in my stuff, most imporantly the special jewelry chest that was given to me by my grandmother.

Special? Yes.

This jewelry case has one cabinet on the right, and four drawers on the left. It is maroon-colored, and on the bottom there is a note. This note came from my late grandfather, given to my grandmother on Valentine’s Day.

On the 21st of April, just a few days ago, it was my grandfather’s fifth anniversary.

This jewelry chest had a small music box that I discovered last year, at around November. When I took the compartment apart (being some bored idiot), I found that it didn’t work. It was all rusty, and covered in cobwebs. Then, because I was in a thoughtful mood that day, I decided to think about that day when it was given to my grandmother. As nearly all my ideas turn into a story, song, or poem, I wrote my ideas down and it turned into this.

˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜

I will publish a series of number-titled poems soon! I missed this blog so much!

Categories
poems Thoughts Uncategorized

i told myself

I told myself so many times not to touch the light 
For fear of losing what I had with me 
But when I approached the flame, bright 
I finally saw what I wanted to see.  

All my memories faded into the white light 
All those unforgettable tales and fights 
They were all gone, and all that was left was you 
And I thought, “Where is this going to?” 

I told myself not to tell all the things I wanted to say Because I was scared and I didn’t want to see who I thought I was 
But, as a thought came to me, I told them anyway 
And out came the real me, without any fuss.  

All my emotions flowed out as words 
Words untold for so many years 
They flew out of me as birds, 
Birds in the form of my unshed tears.  

I used to tell myself I couldn’t be myself in front of them And that I couldn’t do it anyway.  
But here I am, laughing again, 
Saying all the things I wanted to say.

ˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆ

Everyone.

Here’s what I have to say.

Be yourselves, even if people don’t accept you. You have to accept yourself for others to accept you.

Love yourself. It’s better to be hated for who you are, than to be hated for who you pretend to be.

Love yourself and everone around you, like what Jesus did to his persecutors.

Thanks for the inspiration @fayannswearing !